ONCE A YEAR OR SOMETHING THERE ABOUT

I HAVE BEEN BULLIED!!  No, not by the woman next door, or the fellow at the red light, or even the stranger in the line at the store.  My Medicare provider has been bullying me and I am sick and tired of getting these annoying calls.  If I want to ignore my health, what's the big deal? It saves them money, and I am happy.  WHY must they call and write and write and call in an effort to get me to be compliant with what they deem appropriate measures to live for heaven knows how many more years.  As my wise brother told me, "You probably have five more good years." (I'm down to three now according to his rule of scale.)  SO I GAVE UP, and went in for my annual physical---only six months late~pretty sure that sets some kind of new record for me!  

Here's the catch, if you don't do what they tell you to, they will refuse to cover you.  Add to that insult, if you don't do what the doctor tells you, he can fire you.  It seems his reimbursement is directly affected by your complicity with his orders.  SO, it's NOT the doctor---it circles back around to Big Brother again!  WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH BIG BROTHERS!

SO I went in for my annual physical today.  After the nurse finished, the doc comes in and in the initial course of the conversation, gives me three words to remember.  NOW, we have ALL discussed these three words and KNOW the consequences of the inability to keep three simple words in your head for a few minutes~  YOU ARE LOSING IT!!!  SO Apple, Table, Penny---yep I've got them. 

For the next series of questions, I became a little testy.  I am trying to roll those three words over and over in my head--DO NOT WANT HIM TO THINK I AM LOSING IT! and he is asking questions that require me to think.  ANNOYING!  

So HE is concerned with my general health, but I am concerned if he is going to follow my orders.  I went in that room with a list of requests and mind set about what I might or might not do.  Dr. SIL may roll his eyes at me, but I can be a formidable force when you don't know me well.  NOW THIS doctor, ordered Every test I requested, AND did not cross me when I said I was not taking certain drugs. Apple, Table, Penny.  The fact that my blood work was good and I didn't really need those drugs might have helped.

He pokes, prods, shines that little light at me, and keeps asking questions. Apple, Table, Penny  The series of flexibility tests were a piece of cake--remember I have the Terror Team of The Sports Massage Therapist and Trainer who regularly try to bend me into shapes no contortionist can imagine.  

Then we talk about what's wrong with my hip.  I did have a X-ray today, but he thinks it is bursitis.  WHAT--OLD PEOPLE GET THAT!!  WAIT--don't loose my train of thought~ apple, penny, and table.   

The blood tests show all good numbers.  Even the cholesterol levels are within reason, so I don't have to refuse those horrid statins.  -NO, NADA, NO WAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT!  I have had enough chicken that I could lay an egg with no trouble.  BUT HEY, TIME TO CELEBRATE WITH A HUGE BURGER!

We end the session with my favorite subject--needles.  Which immunizations have you had?  WELL now I thought I was up to date, but it seems some pharmaceutical geniuses has now come up with a better SERIES of immunizations for pneumonia.  SO before I leave, I get a good pop in the arm.

Table, apple, penny

SO, I have passed Go and collected a good bill of health and gotten Medicare off my back for twelve months. (OR 18-23).  The good news---I knew those three darn words and may well know them for the remainder of my life.  The bad news---my upper arm is so sore I am pretty sure it has pneumonia.

A cheerful heart is good medicine,

Proverbs 17:22