EMOTIONAL SPILLOVER

Lately, I have been thinking about how closely all of our emotions can be tied.  Picture all  our emotions in a large pasture with fences around each category.  All it takes is a break in the fence or a place you can go under or over to co-mingle those emotions.  I have cried buckets of sad tears---but no more than the happy tears which spill over quite frequently and those angry tears---may be the ones that scorch the most as they trickle down my cheeks.  MANY of our emotions are closely connected to other emotions.  We are complex emotional creatures.

What started this line of thought was pondering fear.  We all have fears--some completely rational and others WAY OUT in left field.  Lately I have been anxious.  This anxiety is a by-product of a fear I am dealing with.  The anxiety is a great deal like a low level of pain---such as a tooth ache---NOT so painful that I cannot think of anything else---BUT it has me on edge---chronically.  The thing about being on edge is it does not take much more to push us over the edge into a freefall of despair.  As I was considering how to manage this fear---I realized most fear is the result of loss of or inability to control a situation.  That is exactly what I am facing.  It seems I have done everything I can to alleviate the stressor--all to no avail.  My fear is I have NO control over this situation and have totally lost any control I thought I might have had.

NOW--there are many things in life which cause us fear---illness, financial, relational--on and on.  The "What If's" can wreck havoc on our emotions.  When we float along in life with the pipe dream we have everything under control, we are headed for a fall.  Truly--if you think about it---our control is fleeting at best.  It is laughable for us to think we are totally in control with all the variables in our lives.  BUT GOD (Conjunction Junction)----He realizes this and addresses fear in His Word.  He does not want us to live in fear---but instead trust in His provision---even for the worst of times.  THIS lesson is one I return to over and over in life.  Just about the time I think I have everything under control--the entire bottom falls out of my control plan and I am free falling in the deep chasm of fear.  Perhaps this will be a lesson I have to continue to return to until my last breath---it certainly seems I easily forget when stressed.  BUT GOD faithfully reminds me--He is not surprised----He is in control----all things can work (even the messes we make) for our good---by God's Hand.  Thanking Him for His nudges---when I cannot seem to remember.

"God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear"

Psalm 46:1-2

SIDE EFFECTS

 For all you perfectly healthy people out there, this more than likely does not apply to you--BUT it may someday.  In a recent conversation, I was lamenting how a prescribed drug may well clear up the symptoms of one malady to only create a new malady.  A case in point is some of the drugs used to treat hypertension (that would be high blood pressure for us laymen) can cause kidney damage which leads to kidney disease. Another case- my mother took antihistamines for allergies most of her life to control the symptoms.  This eventually led to a condition where the wet tissues in her body began to dry up.  Without giving you the morbid details, she ended up having an occuo-plastic surgeon replace her eyelids.  Let me just say---the pain after that surgery was MUCH greater than the discomfort of allergies.  There is a long list of possible side effects which comes with each and every prescribed drug we take.  Truly--that old saying

 has a great deal of truth to it.  During the course of the conversation, I was told by the one I was speaking with they could not get their high blood pressure under control.  When I mentioned the drugs to treat high blood pressure can sometimes lead to kidney damage they were unaware.  How many times are we totally unaware--clueless --to the fact that one thing invariably leads to another.  It can be as simple as eating peanuts or chips---in my case---one ALWAYS leads to another and another and another.  I seem to be addicted to all things salty.  My only solution is to not take that first one---for it is a proven fact--once I get started I will not stop until I regret starting.

Does anything come without side effects?  Even the air we breath and the water we drink may contain containments which might eventually lead to cancer or some other malady.  It is amazing we take the risk of walking out the door every day with all the possible side effects that may come into our path.  What is one to do?  

I remember an episode of "Young Sheldon" in which he became paralyzed and shut himself away from the world because of possible contaminants causing him an illness.  His very wise and savvy grandmother reminded him--there are always dangers lurking--and we cannot live our lives in fear.  We have to live---and trust we will avoid all those lurking side effects.  The Word addresses fear a great deal.  God does not want us living with a spirit of fear.  He desires us to live life to the fullest---and trust His plan.  There is something to be said for not knowing the side effects---and dealing with them if they do occur.  Are we going to chance dying of a high blood pressure induced stroke so we will not have possible kidney damage?  Kidney disease is usually slow moving, but a stroke--well we all know the instantaneous blow it can be.   There are times the risk is out weighed by the benefits.  Life is a balancing act---and we best have our hands out and up to keep our balance.  Deal with what is in front of you today and fear not what tomorrow may bring--instead TRUST the sun will indeed come up and bring the joy of the sunshine.

"So do not fear,

for I am with you;

do not be dismayed,

for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you 

with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

OUT OF CONTROL

I have almost finished a book which I will review soon that has me deep diving into the think tank.  It is NOT a book I would have ever chosen myself, but I saw someone put it in a list of their recommendations and bought it.  It covers many heavy topics, but today I will only address one-  our desperate turn to God when things are out of control.

As I read the book, it strongly reminded me of the recent events surrounding the pandemic.  It is so interesting to me that we seem to have quickly put all that behind us.  As someone told me at a point in my life, "it is old news now".  Would you take a moment and think about the turn back to faith during those troubling days?  When we began losing loved ones and saw the world effectively shut down, we were deeply troubled.   Things seemed out of control and we began to panic, so we turned back to God.  In a few short years, we seem to be back where we were pre-pandemic.

The truth of the matter is we all like to think we are in control, and truthfully, we are deluding ourselves with that opinion because things are going our way.  We turn to God in desperate times for desperate reasons, but the majority of the time, we think we have things under control until the next panic over the latest disaster.

When will we learn---we need God continuously ---24/7--for things are just a mess at best when we are at the steering wheel.  We are all student drivers, with no clue what wreck may be around the next blind corner.  SO--when will we learn---we need Him--as the old hymn says, "We need Him every hour"---not in the tough times---all the time.  I am really trying to turn it over to Him and quit worrying--leave my anxiety behind.  Until I learn to truly look to Him for guidance--I am a chronic mess.  I am a slow learner--but I keep my eyes on the goal and remember who is really in control.

"Be strong and courageous.

Do not fear 

or be in dread of them,

for it is the Lord your God

who goes with you.

He will not leave you

or forsake you."

Deuteronomy 31:6

WHAT IF?

Have you ever lived in the Land of What If's?  What if the world goes to war?  What if I make the wrong choice?  What if the tests show a terminal illness?  What if the housing market bubble burst?  What if fill in the blank_____?  Our mind can become flooded with scenarios when we start down the road of What If?  I have been there several times.  With every threat of life changing illness, with every whisper of shortages, with every hint of change in finances, with a worldwide pandemic,  I can become mired down in the mud of What If?

 

It is NO secret that I do not like surprises and always like to have a plan.  Each and every time I have had a "What if?" bring me to a screeching halt, I have gone into overdrive trying to make certain I have all my ducks in a row.  You can loose sleep and almost go nuts over trying to think of all the contingencies.  In my silly head I think you can prepare for all contingencies.  WHAT ALTERNATIVE WORLD DO I LIVE IN?  

We all know someone who has lived through a What If? and some of us also have lived that journey.  No matter what the outcome, the road leading up to "What if?" was invariably as bad and sometimes worse than the actual occurrence of the dreaded.  For some foolish reason, we get it into our heads that we can control life.  That is laughable at a minimum.  We have about as much control as the ability to count our chickens before they hatch.  The resulting worry and anticipation from living in the land of What if? is often a waste of valuable time.  We are told in The Word to not worry, but our feet of clay convince us we can plan our way out of the occurrence of a What if?  We can NEVER be prepared for all the What if? scenarios of the world.  What we can do is rest assured that not ONE THING happens that God is not aware is going to occur.  All things can and will be used for His Good Purpose.  HE WILL NEVER FORSAKE US---through thick and thin He is with us.

NOW--I admit, from personal experience, it is difficult to not go down the Road to What If?  I will say each and every time I have gone down that road and always found Jesus by my side, it has become easier and easier to give up control or lack thereof and be at peace with Him.  Most of us will endure a "What if?", but we are not going to endure it alone by any stretch of the imagination.  HE will sustain us---He will comfort us---He will give us strength and endurance---He will give us peace.  AMEN!

"The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed,

a refuge in times of trouble.

And those who know Your name will put their trust in You,

for You, Lord,

have not forsaken those who seek you."

Psalm 9:9

BE OF GOOD COURAGE

 We seem to be having round after round of extreme weather this Spring.  This week's round was a hum dinger.  (Remember I wrote this two weeks ago.)  My in-laws'  former home was among those severely damaged.  

There is a part of me that is so thankful they are not here to see their beloved home totally destroyed.  My sweet mother in law was terrified of storms as several of my friends are.  Looking at these pictures, you have to think--their terror comes with good reason.

We have talked about this before--those phobias--almost irrational fears we sometimes have.  In almost every case these fears are learned fears.  Those who have influence over us taught us to be fearful.  I am not afraid of storms--in fact love to sit and watch the show.  That was learned at my father's feet--he loved to chase storms.  I do have fears and have had fears I have conquered.  After never being alone, I was extremely terrified of living life alone when my marriage ended.  With time and experience, I have come to not only conquer the fear but enjoy my aloneness(most of the time).  There are still a fear or two that like to sneak up behind me and rule my thoughts.  A quick prayer is always the best antidote.

Fear comes from outside stimuli that our brains take in as 

What must the people in the war zone of Ukraine be feeling?  I cannot even begin to imagine the terror they are living with daily.

Our response to fear (the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or threat) can be one of three -Freeze--Flee--Courage.  I recently read this line  ~

"Even the brave were once afraid."

We have all heard the phrase--healthy fear.  There are times it is down right smart to be afraid and proceed only with caution.  The problem with fear is when it becomes so unhealthy we are paralyzed and can not think of anything else.  A good dose of courage helps us to conquer the fears that can rule our lives.  I love this quote from our wartime president ~

We are told over and over in The Word - "Fear Not".  God does not want us to live in a spirit of fear--but Satan claims fear as one of his greatest weapons.  Think on that for a moment.  Who will we listen to?  Who will rule our heart and mind?  

"Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed,

for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

Yes, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

HEALTHY RESPECT

 We all have fears.  I have told you before I try to not reveal my fears, since that can come back to bite you in the rear.  I have a slight phobia (Greek origin meaning fear) of closed or tightly confined spaces.  Huge crowds can cause a panic if I am tightly hemmed in.  I have many friends who are deathly afraid of snakes--any snake.  I was able to get over that one growing up in the country surrounded by woods and water.  Some of our fears are rational and some borderline crazy.  Fear can rule your world if you are not careful.

When my nieces and nephew were small children, they lived in the midst of a neighborhood filled with other children.  There was always some mischief going on.  One day a mother had tracked down her misbehaving child and was dragging them home, smacking them on their rear on the way.  As they watched this happening, one of the children looked at the others and said, "Ms B  sho can whup good!"  They all gained a little fear of crossing Ms B that day.

I really do not remember fearing my mother.  I do remember having a healthy respect for her justice system.  Punishment was swift and sure when you were caught offending her sense of right.  I knew she loved me, but also knew she would put me in my place if I crossed the line.

As I was reading today's devotional, those often repeated words from the Good Book, "Fear Not" were discussed.  Are we to fear God or are we to have a healthy respect for exactly Who our God is?  The devotional writer called it a "healthy fear".  To quote the author, "It is an understanding of who God is in relation to us.  It means respect, reverence, awe, honor, adoration and worship; it could even be translated as 'love for God'."  He goes on, but you get the gist.  As I knew Momma could swiftly discipline, I also knew she always did it with love.  I had a healthy respect for the authority she had in my life and needed to be obedient.

So it is with God, He does not want us to be fearful but instead have a healthy respect for Who God is.  "Fear God" is not a negative, but a positive statement.  It indicates who we are in relationship to who He is.  Do we want to serve a God who inspires no fear--no threat when we stray, or a God who will discipline those He loves?   What a great God we serve.

NOT ME ~ I'M NOT AFRAID!

 I am an expert at covering up my fears.  From an early age (my childhood was filled with brothers and male cousins), I learned you never show fear.  If there is even a hint that something might frighten you, it can lead to endless hours of torment for the amusement of others.  Then there was Momma and my Grandmother James and my Girl Scout Leader and ... all those strong women who did not tolerate you squealing, crying, or pretty much any form of appearing fearful.  The message was clear and concise ~ fear is a form of weakness.

I learned to not be afraid of snakes---hoes, shovels, and rifles could take care of that, but leave those good snakes alone.   My Girl Scout leader would verbally assault you if you squealed over a granddaddy long legs---I learned to pick them up and toss them aside.  NEVER run from the pack of wild dogs, who once claimed our neighborhood as home, that encouraged them to chase you.  Drag those 1000 + pound steers for a daily haltered walk, keep your eye out for the ram who loved to sneak up on you and give you a good head butt, and try to stay out of eyesight of Mama James's rooster.  Keep a watchful eye out for any signs of potential danger, but keep fearless plastered on your face.

I might be afraid, but to survive you put on a straight face, learned how to warn off those who might come after me with a deep strong yell, and, above all, never allow fear to show on my face.  It became second nature to appear stoic and calm in the midst of the worst storms.  There was nothing my daddy liked more than riding around in the midst of a hurricane or storm so fierce you could not see a foot in front of the car.  If I showed fear, the next storm would find me at home and not riding in the car with daddy.  We girls always wanted to be in the protection of our daddy's.

Those early lessons were well learned.  As an adult, I learned to stifle any fear with that same stoic expression of calm.  Underneath my insides might be shaking, the primal scream might be stuck in my throat, and my instinct to run would be stifled by the years of training to keep your feet planted.  

Suppressed emotions always find a way  out~ sooner or later they will bubble to the surface in some shape or form.  When my children had scares (as they all do), I always kept it together until the crisis had passed and then I shook and became teary.  A hard aggravating day at work would be taken out on someone close who did some small infraction of no consequence.  I would find myself unglued and foaming at the mouth over nothing.  My anger from the day boiled over on the innocent without me realizing where my wrath originated.  To this day, I have a high startle reaction when surprised--years of ducking the next scare tactic from the boys.

Lately I have been thinking about the threat of danger I feel times..  Past experience has me gun shy and wary . The threat of danger sets off warning signals when someone feels like a potential threat.  So ~ I put on my mask of having it together, being strong, and never fearful.  I am NOT afraid - I am not fearful - I have it under control - I can do this - my daily pep talk on  conquering the fears which sometimes accompany being alone.  

What is the common thread through out all of this.  ME  ~ I am under the illusion I am in control.  I forget my source of strength, my protector, my provider, the lover of my soul.  I forget in the worst of danger ~ I am never alone.  He is my shield and defender in the most dangerous of life's storms.  He does not want me to live in the spirit of fear, but in the surety of His faithful presence.  Allow Him to be the driver as I travel through the blinding fury of the greatest of storms.  Give up control and trust Him to lead.

"Fear not,

For I am with you;

Be not dismayed,

For I am your God,

I will strengthen you,

Yes, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

So thankful for those of you who have signed up to be blog followers.  You are the reason I continue to write.  Writing can be a lonely pursuit.  I cherish your feedback and really love for you to make me think by questioning what I am saying.

If you have not signed up to be a follower, please do so on the right side of the page.   If you have a problem with the form, email be at the bottom of the right side of the blog.  

BUT I AM SO AFRAID!

What are you afraid of?  I have friends that are terrified of snakes.  I was raised in a small town in the middle of 7 acres with a pond and woods all around the back.  I got over being afraid of snakes a LONG time ago.  I leave the good ones alone and take the hoe to the poisonous ones.  Would not want to risk one of the grands coming upon the "bad ones"

Some are afraid of the dark---got over that one a long time ago also.  Being raised with brothers and cousins that DELIGHTED in scaring you in the dark--you learned to show no fear.   If they got the slightest glimmer of fear--the torment began.  I slept with my head under the covers and only my nose sticking out until I was in high school.  You did not dare tell Momma you were afraid either-she could be worse than the brothers & cousins!

You have all heard "My Grizzly Story".  I had to overcome some fears to hike in bear country.  Let common sense prevail and hike with a big group--which works well until a couple of your buddies bolt and run.  There would be no adventures unless you conquer you fears---there is always some danger.

I have already written about the danger of break ins and robberies while living in the city and the precautions I have taken.  I am not fearful of this happening---I have exercised caution and do have a weapon.  All to help conquer any potential fear.

The weather can be uncertain.  I have heard a great deal of conversation recently about tornadoes---the wind to be feared in Texas.  I have not only never been afraid of storms, but tend to enjoy them.  I love to sit outside during a storm and watch the wind blow and the rain come down in the midst of the thunder and lightning.  Why I have even been known to be stupid enough to get caught out running in the lightning and rain.  Fastest I EVER ran!  On the bright side---I have a basement to run to---GASP---foreign concept to a girl from Louisiana with a water table 2 inches down.  

We would never learn trust or never need courage unless we were first afraid.  Fear is not necessarily a bad thing.  I DO have fears!  What am I fearful of---an uncertain future, stock market crashes, something happening to one of my children or grands. Things which I have no control over.  Should I sit around and worry about something which I can do nothing about? 

God gave us fear so that we could overcome it!  He teaches us trust by allowing us to conquer our fears and rely upon the facts.  There are things we can control--stepping on snakes, wandering up on a bear, the dark, burglars, and storms---we can control our fear by being watchful and prepared.  Those things we have no control over---because He has allowed us to conquer our fears over the other--we learn we can trust His protection in all our life.  Put aside your fears--lean into Him and trust Him---allow Him to conquer your fears.

"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you."

Deuteronomy 31:6