I attended Easter Sunday services alone here in Austin today. My children and grands are involved in other areas during the service---so I sat alone. It's Easter Sunday---the church was full-the overflow room upstairs was full and the tent adjacent to the worship center was full. It was an awesome---wonderful Easter service. It thrills my heart that they are exposed to inspired teaching and inspirational worship. I love seeing grown men---in the attitude of praise.
I am learning a lesson though in "Aloneness". This is my third service in a church full of people when I know NOT ONE SOUL. It has taken a lot of courage to cross those thresholds alone and before today--I was often circling back to my feeling of being alone--even when shoulder to shoulder with a crowd. Today--I finally "Got It"--what God has been trying to show me---It is NOT about community---though He encourages us to be in fellowship---it IS ALL ABOUT HIM! When there is no one around you to distract you--when your thoughts and eyes are pointed toward worship---HE IS THERE! I am never alone---HE IS ALWAYS WITH ME--even in the midst of the connected multitudes--I am NOT alone---HE IS BY MY SIDE!
So why do you attend worship---is it about who you are with--who you will see---OR is it all about Him? He is teaching me to truly be attuned to His presence and turn toward Him in Praise and Worship---for who He is--THE GREAT I AM!
HAPPY EASTER!
WE SERVE A RISEN SAVIOR!
HALLELUJAH!
I woke up very early this morning pondering what the disciples and other followers of Jesus must have been thinking the morning after the crucifixion, death and burial of Jesus. I would imagine--something like the depressing thought that all was lost--it was over--there was no tomorrow---mixed with a huge dose of fear---fear for their safety--fear for their lives--fear for their futures.
WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY CAN MAKE! Sunday dawned and "He was not there"---"He was risen"----OH HAPPY DAY! A few short hours and with the slow realization that came with time---their entire demeanor changed----Despair to Glee----Depression to Joy---Disillusionment to Hope--- With His Resurrection---He redeemed tomorrow---from the depths of pain--to the heights of praise! A new day dawned and with it the entire world was changed forever. Eternity was gained and a new beginning was available.
That slowly twisted around in my head until I realized my own life was not unlike this day. I have been in the depths of despair---the pit of anguish and the river of grief. He will also redeem all of this--because He loved me---I am promised a tomorrow---and Joy will come with the morrow---be patient and wait upon the Lord---HE IS MY REDEEMER!
Momma moved to Louisiana from Texas when she married at 19 and lived there until the day she left us at almost 82. She told everyone that entire time, she was from Texas. Perhaps I am somewhat like her, since I was thinking today, that I don't know if I will ever consider Texas home---after 64 years---Louisiana will always be home.
My sweet friend sent this to me when I was lamenting over my move with her:
"Some would say you are entering Texas, the Promised Land,
I say you are running the next leg bound for the Promised Land."
SO even after disappointing news yesterday, I cling to truths such as this and know --especially today---He loves me steadfastly and beyond measure-
" Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."
Sometimes from out of the blue--when you least expect it---life throws a gut punch at you---it leaves you surprised and gasping--bent double in pain and wondering "Where did that come from?"
There are two options at that point--you can stay down for the count---vow this is it---I've had it---hide in the closet---run out in the street screaming---put your head under the pillow and never come out---moan and groan and gaze at your navel--which I allow myself to do for short periods of time
OR--after those short periods--you can take a DEEP BREATHE----count to 10--analyze how this happened---wipe your tears and suck it up---and continue to move forward---asking God for the strength to make the next step-----ALL FORWARD MOTION COUNTS!
Momma J---is sick--so Aunt Nancy & I took the 2 big boys in tow today. We already had a trip planned to the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens---so we drug them along. I think we saw some plants in the conservatory-Rose Garden & Japanese Gardens --but it's all a blur or chasing a 2 & 3 year old around. There were plants--there were signs identifying them---I have NO clue what any of those signs said.
We DID stop to feed the koi in the Japanese gardens--the highlight of the trip for the boys---HUGE HUGE Koi! AND HUNGRY-- Had to keep a tight grip on the little one--Mr. H can swim-but Little One--can't and does not know to be afraid! A tight grip on the coat of that Little Mister!
Here is what I DID learn---if I am going to be ready for a Hiking Trip in 3 months carrying 40 lbs on my back--I'm in DEEP TROUBLE! We took the boys down to the pond in the rose garden which is at the bottom of a not that steep hill to see the turtles. Henry decided at that point that "My legs have no power left." I put him on my back and climbed that hill---I have a LONG way to go to get ready for this hiking trip--OR I will be bear bait at the base of the mountain! SO add hiking with weighted pack on my back when I get back to LA to my weight training! SUCH SUCH FUN!
Sister in law, Nancy--is Guest #2 at the Hacienda in the Sky. Here I am thinking I am the Queen of Obtaining Social Histories"---she may have out done me today. The house my apartment is in is being painted---HURRAH! BUT the painters have LOTS of cars and vehicles--which has created parking problems. The houses on each side of this one are vacant--not sure why--but maybe Nancy could explain now. ANYWAY--I told Nancy--feel free to park in the drive next door-no one is there.
I am cooking supper for The Jennings & us and look out the kitchen window--there is someone next door where Nancy is parked. She heads out to move her car after I tell her the neighbor seems to have appeared. THIRTY minutes later---Nancy finally comes back upstairs---every time I look out--Nancy is nodding and the lady is talking---turns out she got ALL the POOP!
So it seems Neighbor Mrs M---owns the house where Nancy is parked--she left her cats there and comes back to feed them. There seems to have been a fire in her house and she moved to her "other house" across from her son and granddaughter. She said this is a great neighborhood and she loves it here-but she didn't explain why she is not here anymore.
She then tells Nancy that the house on the other side of this one--which is also vacant-is owned by Mrs. B---Mrs. B moved to a house which she shares with her granddaughter--she lives on the top floor and the granddaughter below her.
Both houses are in serious need of repair--AND the houses in this area rent for top dollar--SO--WHY?
Mrs. M and Mrs. B don't like my landlady--whom I really like --but for some reason they don't all get along. My landlady told me that the other neighbors were waiting for TCU to swoop in and buy their property for a high price--but she was going to collect income on her property and not count on something that might never happen.
THIS SOUNDS LIKE Small town drama--here in the big city. When Nancy came in and gave me her report---I laughed and laughed--turns out we are all just "Small Town Folks"!
SO you need a social history?---Call Nancy--she is the NEW QUEEN!
I went back to "Power Pump" this morning with Camille. Before the class began, one of her friends came up to me and said, "Did Camille tell you that you will be sore for 2 weeks after the first class?" I must admit--I MIGHT have been slightly smug when I told her--"Oh, I came Friday, we missed you!" OH TO BE 30--again! ON SECOND THOUGHT--- LORD--NO--DO NOT WANT TO DO ALL THIS AGAIN!
ANYWAY---there is a different instructor today and she has an apprentice that she is training. NO PROB---but let me just say---you look at the front of the class for direction and instruction--OR YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE INSTRUCTOR--SO
The main instructor is probably late 40's-early 50's---she might have played tackle for one of the professional football teams---her upper torso and legs remind you of tree stumps--THICK tree stumps--she has her head tied back in a bandana--that looks like she may be about to mow the lawn--NOW--I liked her--but I am looking to be motivated--you know--HEY I WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOU! She is so strong that the main thing she inspires from me is grumbling and mumbling.
The apprentice--WELL---he is probably mid to late 30's -----as my kids say-RIPPED! Cute little --unassuming face--easy on the eyes and soft spoken to boot. NOW--he did not say much the entire class--BUT I must admit I felt HIGHLY motivated following his lead! HEY-I KNOW I am alone--but I like a good view just like the rest of you!
