THE LAST PIECE OF THE PUZZLE

While in Ruston, I sat and talked with a dear friend--one on one--following a group conversation of how forgiveness looks.  We were building off the blog written here explaining my struggle with man's concept of what forgiveness looks like.  He pulled me aside and shared his own struggle and what he is learning.  Another piece of the puzzle was pushed neatly into place.  I am certain God orchestrated this conversation--once again teaching me.

As we sat ---and rocked---in the deep stillness of the night---we agreed on every necessary step in giving and receiving forgiveness.  We shared our journeys and what God was teaching us.  As we peer through the lens of our personal pain, the reflection of the image of grace begins  to draw into focus the beauty of what Jesus did for us.  Our sin and man's sin against us teaches God's forgiveness and the absolute wonder of it all.

He shared the beautiful picture of admitting  his sin, and acknowledging it to God and those who had been harmed naming his offense and asking their forgiveness.  He then completed the necessary step of turning from that sin as God has instructed.  He thought this final step of repentance should have freed him and allowed him to forget---but still the remembrance nagged him. 

A trusted counselor shared with him--perhaps the final, but certainly a needed step--We must forgive ourselves.  God forgives us and yet we are unable to forgive ourselves.  As I posted that day, God is much more lenient with us than we are on ourselves.  Turning this over and over in my thoughts, the question arose----If we do not forgive ourselves after God has forgiven us, are we discounting the grace Jesus lavished upon us?  Are we denying the great price paid for us to walk in freedom?  Are we saying--what He did was not enough?  Another necessary step to complete the image of what forgiveness looks like.

DEEP PONDERING IN THE DEEP OF THE NIGHT-

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,"

Acts 3:19

CROSSING THE FINISH LINE

Our sermon series on Jacob has concluded.  I must say, it has profoundly affected me, my thoughts, and my aspirations.  In seven short  weeks, God has taught me a tremendous lesson--about my relationship with Him.  I have been blessed by our pastor's teaching, my small groups, and discussion with dear ones helping me to cross several important hurdles.

What better way to finish anything--than to talk about The Finish Line--and what it looks like to cross it.   Jacob finally got it---after 130 years of pushing & pulling---deceiving--conniving- plotting--planning--running & hiding---the light bulb went off.  He finished well and left not only an inheritance to his off-spring, but also much more important- a legacy.

All those years of accounting taught me a valuable lesson concerning inheritances---they can bring out the very worst in people.  Be it money, property, or possessions--people can turn into green eyed monsters and become grabbers exactly like Jacob.  It can turn ugly fast when the splitting of the pie begins.

How many times did I see the money and the things of this world eventually fade away.  Here today and gone tomorrow and with their loss---no lasting effect remains.  "What we are chasing today is it worth leaving? How would tomorrow look different if you became concerned about leaving a legacy?"  What will be said about me when I am gone?  What lasting/eternal legacy am I leaving?

Jacob's lesson in a nutshell---it is not too late.  There is always hope.  Jacob, after 130 years, finally learned to bless those around him.  Finally Jacob understood---"God Almighty---Almighty God".   He left an inheritance as chronicled in the last verses of Genesis, but more important he left a legacy to his children, grandchildren, his servants, and those he came into contact.  He finally learned the importance of leaving a blessing---He kept on running and when he crossed his finish line---his legacy was eternal.

"The God before whom walked my fathers, Abraham and Isaac.

The God who has been my shepherd all my life long to this very day,

The Angel who delivered me from every evil,

Bless the boys.

May my name be echoed in their lives,

and the names of Abraham and Issac, my fathers.

And my they grow covering the Earth with their children."

Genesis 48:15-16

THE ORANGE SAFETY NET

As I was reading a blog post about reckless abandonment on the ski slope, one of my favorite memories exploded to the surface.  My first skiing trip was as an adult---as in an adult in my late 40's.  I love an adventure and learned a long time ago to conquer my fears or risk losing out.  OFF to the slopes I went ON A BUS---with a bus load of fellow Believers-many of them teens----20 + HOURS on a bus. WHAT WAS I THINKING???

The first day everyone who had not skied had a group lesson---for one half a day.  It appeared I should have been in the class for S L O W learners---I could not seem to get it!  The secret to skiing--I later learned---is learning how to stop---once you know that---and are not fearful of skiing off the side of the mountain--it gets better.  For some reason---I could not figure out how to make the necessary wedge to slow and stop.  NOT to be defeated, I kept trying.  I kept going up that ski-lift and trying to get down that gentle slope without losing control.  It was for naught---I was TOTALLY out of control.  Finally I learned a trick--which probably saved my life.  When totally out of control and heading down the mountain WAY too fast, find one of those orange plastic --webbed boundary fences (UP-HILL) and head for it.  It would stop me every time---all I had to do then was dis-entangle myself from the orange webbing, get back up on my feet and pray none of the ski patrol had seen me!  The orange webbing became my life line to prevent hurling off the mountain. 

I am happy to report---I learned to ski---FINALLY--after taking single lessons.  I enjoyed many trips to the mountains and have wonderful memories of the fun of each trip.  I never passed an orange fence though that my skis did not ease that way---I suppose the Kamikaze Ski instinct was deeply embedded!

We have a safety net in life also--when life becomes precarious--dangerous--and we are headed to destruction and doom---there is a web to catch us before we hurl off the cliff into the deep abysses of endless gnashing of teeth and groaning.  Jesus is waiting to catch us---offering a life line to stop the free fall into the bottomless pit of the darkest night.  All we have to do--is head for Him and put out our hands ---He will catch us.

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost."

Luke 19:10

TRULY- YOU ARE!

Recently I looked at a new friend across the room and noticed her beautiful eyes and flawless creamy complexion---which reminds me of childhood coffee---a little coffee and a lot of cream.  As I listened to her speak with great words of wisdom and a deep knowledge of The Word, her inner beauty shined and her deep love for Our Lord poured out with every word she spoke.

Later as everyone stood and the hum of conversation swirled around the room, I walked over --looked into her deep dark eyes--and said, "Do you know you are really beautiful?"  The head of PR for a large local institution----she is constantly in the spotlight---and never at a loss for words.  She stopped in her tracks and looked down--without comment.  I repeated, "You do know that don't you?"  As she slowly gazed up, there were tears in her eyes as she responded, "No, I do not ever think that."  I assured her---you are beautiful and do not ever think otherwise.

We get so hung up on the standards the world has given us---that we are bombarded with daily--those yard sticks to measure ourselves by---that we become convinced we do not measure up.  BUT WAIT---we are wonderfully and fearfully made--in the VERY IMAGE OF GOD.  HE is beautiful and His Word tells us we are beautiful. 

Who are we going to listen to the Great Deceiver and all of his agents or Almighty God?  We all need and desire to be told we are beautiful/handsome.  I am telling you----you are beautiful---TRULY-YOU ARE!

"Oh, my dear friend!

You're so beautiful!

And your eyes so beautiful-like doves!"

Song of Songs 1:15

MERCY

DISENGAGE THE BLOG MUSIC BY CLICKING ON THE DOUBLE BLUE BARS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE ON THE LEFT



The Older I Grow--The More I Understand Mercy & Stand Amazed 
Headed West This AM 
God has given me some interesting insights
Will be posting about those soon.


Blessed Sabbath, Dear Friends

BACK IN THE OLD HOOD

I have been in R for a few days visiting.  It was time---it has been over six months.  When I received the email that STARR testing was happening this week in Fort Worth schools---I knew is was time.  We get busy---time flies by!  As I drove into the city limits---I knew---Ruston Will Always Be Home---you cannot live in a 20 mile radius for 64 years and not feel that way. Each hug and every greeting was balm to my heart. If I missed seeing you---hopefully you will forgive me--a few days JAM PACKED with seeing Ruston friends and family.

Fort Worth is slowly beginning to feel like home also.  I am making some good friends and loving my church and ministry opportunities.  Perhaps this qualifies me to be cosmopolitan---two homes!   What a huge blessing--having two places to call home.

I picked the most beautiful time of the year to visit---Spring.  Except for the thick layer of yellow pollen covering every surface and the itchy eyes and sneezing--It Is Perfect!

I began to see the thick draping of the wisteria vines almost as soon as I crossed the state line.  The trees are a wonder filled with the purple blooms.

Azalea bushes plump with buds---just beginning to open.

Woods and yards adorned with Dogwood trees in full bloom.

The lake at the parish park---in the midst of a forest--soon to be hidden by limbs thick with leaves.

What makes a place feel like home?
It is not necessarily the city---
the people make the difference.

I am truly blessed to now call Ruston & Fort Worth my homes!

THE BLESSING OF ETERNAL MOMENTS

My time of mentoring and tutoring is spent in a room with many other students and mentors.    I have developed a special relationship with one of these precious children and her mentor.  We often spend time together working on projects, sharing snacks, and developing community.

Recently this precious child told me her mother had passed.  A profound and life affecting occurrence for one so young.  What she did not realize was she had shared with someone who knew exactly what she was talking about and understood with great empathy her loss.  If I explained all the intricacies involved in the opportunity for her to share with me, you would like me--know God orchestrated the moment.  Her family was incomplete--one side of the two cords that kept her swing swinging had disappeared, exactly as my life had been.  It is a permanent life shaping occurrence.

I looked at her and told her how sorry I was and then explained my daddy had died when I was in school also.  I understood the loss of a parent and the day to day reminders.   I shared the assurance of how proud her mother was of her, I explained how her mother lived on through her.

When she asked, "Do you go visit your Daddy?", I must admit at first I was taken back.  I replied, "Do you mean at the cemetery?"  Her response was a silent nod of the head with her eyes downcast.

Taking a deep breath, I told her the cemetery where my daddy rested was a long way away and that I was unable to visit very often.  Pausing--I allowed time for her to slowly look back up. I smiled and said, "But I do visit him in my memories which are stored deep within my heart. He has a new home now and is no longer here---he lives in a beautiful heaven with our great God . "  She smiled as she gazed into my eyes and I squeezed her sweet hand as we continued down the path.  

God often gifts us with beautiful and eternal moments.  What a Blessing!

"My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching.  Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck."

Proverbs 6:20-21