Wednesday, February 27, 2013

DISCONNECTED---HEADED WEST!

I am to the point where I am losing the well planned--organized move---and instead throwing things at any available box or container.  Thank goodness for my sweet friends-Philip, Sonja & Glenda -who came last night---not only fed me, helped with the things too heavy to lift by myself, but most important listened to me.  THIS IS PAINFUL!  More is happening than just this move---but I have decided to leave that out of the story.  I have determined that if it does nothing for the cause of Christ--it does not need to be posted on the WWW. Although I will be back staying with Helen after a couple of weeks until the school year is over, this truly marks the FACT that I am moving---I am leaving what I know and love behind--my comfort zone--my people that I love---and trying to start again--at 64.  DAUNTING--OVERWHELMING!

For those that have been praying that I would be able to take this step--without losing sleep---I am NOT sure I should thank you.  I am convinced God gave me this cold so I would have to take a boat load of drugs---THAT MAKE YOU SLEEP-last night.  So if you looked out and saw that beautiful moon---you KNOW that normally I would be howling at it all night---instead I merely drifted in and out of a drug induced comma--struggling to get a breathe.  CAREFUL WHAT YOU PRAY FOR!

SO I am about to unhook from my Louisiana Internet connection---for the last time---everything will be packed in the truck tonight and I will head West EARLY in the morning.  Pray for traveling grace and that I won't be throwing things at the truck as it pulls out tomorrow.  Pray for my strength---physical and emotional--as I leave the home that I have grown to love and the family and friends that I leaned upon daily and plant myself in unknown soil.

I will be "Unplugged" until this weekend--I don't have the patience to blog via I Phone---so my next post will come from my next nest to be---in the GREAT STATE OF TEXAS.  Praying that God will plant me and give me ministry that will glorify Him.  I am NOT closing this book---I am just starting the next chapter---with the entire book full of characters and places that I love still within reach of a quick turn back....

As Brother Jack once ended every Sunday Service--

Pray for me---As I Pray for You

Love You All!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

FRONTAL ATTACK

I am reading a book Waking the Dead by John Eldredge---he is such a good writer---have also done a study of The Sacred Romance that he wrote.  Many men and the women that love them have read Wild at Heart.  This guy is a gifted teacher.  The one I am studying at the moment starts with the reminder that we are fighting a spiritual war here on this Earth-Good Reminder.  Satan seeks to "steal, kill and destroy".

I am down to one more day after today---and I am being attacked from the front----a Nasal Attack!  You remember I told you the stress had caused a LOVELY "Zit" to erupt.  Thanks for the cure suggestions--I currently have 3 layers of "Cures" on it!  NOW I started feeling a cold coming on last night.  You must remember I teach in a petri dish of 3 year olds every Sunday.  Somehow I have avoided getting their colds this year--after wiping a thousand noses-but I finally lost the battle to their cooties and developed a cold.  BAD TIMING!

The Devil decided to attack via the nose---he KNOWS who has my heart!

Monday, February 25, 2013

NO LONGER DIVERTING THE EYES!

Did I ever post about my shower and the mirror RIGHT in front of it?  If I did--sorry to repeat myself---if I didn't you need to know about it to understand the end of this post.

In my current home---THAT I DEARLY LOVE--I have this wonderful huge shower (I take showers always-no bathtub soaking)---ONLY problem is the full length mirror RIGHT in front of the door when you exit.  LORD!  I had to stay in that shower long enough to fog up every mirror OR divert my eyes when exiting.  WHO wants to see that sight???

I am sad to leave my house and the apartment I will be living in is smaller and NO new fancy bathroom.  A bathtub--HOT PINK--with a shower head---it's a 1920's house.  The GOOD news--one small medicine cabinet mirror only---

I WILL NOT HAVE TO DIVERT MY EYES!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

PLEASE DON'T MENTION THE BIG ZIT!!!!

I KNOW I am stressed to the max---I have a big ---lovely---ZIT on the end of my nose---CHARMING!

One other indication would be the fact that I clicked on Camille's OLD address in ERIE-PA----when ordering a bedspread.  DO NOT KNOW how I can remedy that--but hopefully the cute couple that bought her house will NOT think it is a belated housewarming gift!

3 MORE DAYS---if you see a half crazed woman running down the road screaming with a red Rudolph nose---be kind---JUST IGNORE ME!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

GOD'S GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP

Today is Anna-Claire's 22nd birthday.  We all met for a run or walk and then went to the cemetery together.  It was a sweet time of laughter, tears, memories and prayer.  God has SO richly blessed us for LOTS of years now---WHO would have EVER dreamed this rag/tag---hugely diverse group of women and 1 token man would come together with a common love for running and live life together all these years.  WHAT a WONDERFUL---RICH---DEEP BLESSING!

We are sad with Stephanie and Tommy today--but we are also rejoicing knowing---they WILL see her again!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

LOVE LETTER

Dear Internet,

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU---well most of the time---but today you are the love of my life.  You have made my life SO much simpler!  I have set up new utility services and cancelled old while sitting in my recliner with my laptop keeping me warm.

SO---Internet--WHO EVER (we all know who it was NOT) came up with the idea of you----THANK YOU!  You are wonderful!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

CHARMED LIFE

There are a few---and I might add in my poll a VERY FEW---that seem to lead charmed lives.  It's difficult to understand why their life is so perfect--when most of us are struggling to keep our head above the waves---but there it is--they are perfect.  

I have one sweet friend--that fits this bill---husband does what she tells him and loves her dearly---children have all succeeded and never given one minute of grief and now the grands are all following the family tradition.  It is pretty amazing---usually don't share much of the realities of life with her--not sure she would understand---does NOT mean she isn't a wonderful friend and sweet believer---just doesn't get it.

As we were walking yesterday, she started telling us how perturbed and disturbed she was and so aggravated that she had not come up with a solution.  It turns out her newspaper is late EVERY day---they don't deliver it until they call and complain.  I walked a few more feet after this announcement---stopped in my tracks  and said,

"THAT'S IT---THAT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT???"  At which time everyone cracked up.

Well I've always known that it is all relevant to where you are in life--but just couldn't let that go by without making that comment.  

Monday, February 18, 2013

WHO PUT THOSE IN THERE?

I cleaned out my pantry today...I would just like to know WHO SNEAKED INTO MY HOUSE and left all those boxes and packages with very little in them in my pantry?????   SURELY I would not put a sack of pasta back up with 25 noodles in it----AND SURELY I would not have 6 packages of the same type of pasta with 25 noodles in each of them???

I would NEVER have 8 packages of the same instant potatoes that I use to make "Sonja's DELICIOUS potatoes" when it only takes 3!  Why I COULDN'T have possibly left a box of the crackers with ALL of the individually wrapped sections open!  AND WHO would have left 3 jars of partially used peanut butter and 3 jars of pickle relish there?  

AND WHY would you sneak in and put all of your out-dated cans in my pantry?  Why not just throw away your evaporated milk with an expiration date of 2011 instead of placing it in my pantry.

ALL this time--I have felt SO safe and secure---NEVER suspecting that some strange deviate was stocking my pantry with their partial packages, over stocks and out-dated groceries.  WELL!   I would get the locks changed--but OH YES--I'm moving!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

SHAKING IN MY BOOTS!

I have heard over and over---HOW BRAVE YOU ARE!  Here is a moment of real truth---I am shaking in my Texas Boots!  This move scares me silly!  I have had LOTS of "WHAT AM I DOING??" moments!  I am leaving what I LOVE---Love my Friends!---Love Ruston---LIKE being in my Comfort Zone!

What is courage?  Courage is admitting you are afraid--facing your fear---and moving forward anyway!  It's like riding a bicycle for the first time--jumping into that swimming hole from a high branch--climbing that mountain in the Rockies----It is SCARY!  My knees are knocking---BUT when I conquered those fears and took that first step---I was always glad.

SO thank you for your encouragement---thank you for thinking I am brave--but know I am just reaching down from the bottom of my boots (Texas) and pulling up my Big Girl Pants---and taking that first step---Not so brave---more determined to try!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

PARDON ME WHILE I BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL!

Sometimes--my stupidity even amazes me!  WHY would I go see a Nicholas Sparks movie????  Totally predictable and TOTALLY SAPPY!  How more lame and pitiful can you get than to be sitting ALONE in a "Happily Ever After" movie??  All around are couples--including 2 rows at the back of pre-teen/maybe teen junior highers---who SOME of which clap at the "we are all happy" ending.  

SO what's wrong with Nicholas Sparks---not one thing--if you don't mind anticipating the ending before it even gets going good---knowing the predictable plot as well as you know every fairy tale you ever heard.  Does life EVER really work out like that?  Well let's see--today's movie--after the crazed abusive husband knocks the ever living daylights out of the heroine---and they struggle over the gun---HE dies--even though he is OBVIOUSLY much stronger than her AND she has one slightly discoloration on her beautiful cheekbone.  NO black bruising---or swelling---she is as beautiful as before the struggle.

There is no guilt to live with after the husband dies---the children are not traumatized by their brush with death or loss of life long memories AND they all live happily ever after--not one ill effect from any of the trauma.

SERIOUSLY---I need to write a book--BUT who would believe it?  The world does NOT want reality--they want fantasy---AND SO DO I!!!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

ESPECIALLY TODAY--

Especially today---I want to tell all of you that have loved me---supported me--and especially prayed for me---how much I love you all and how I thank God for you.  

Valentine's Day could be a sad day for those that are alone---but I've thought about it and decided to remember the love that I have been shown by so many that God has lavishly blessed me with as family and friends.   

What is love?  In my world--it is the act of putting self aside and not looking in the mirror--but instead focusing on the others that God places in my path.  Listening to what they are saying--hearing their voice and responding as God leads.   I've learned this by watching my family and friends do the same for me.  Unselfish acts of kindness, love and support have sustained me---grown me--shown me--the very face of Jesus.

SO---HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY---Precious Family & Friends---I love you all dearly!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

WHEN I GROW UP-----

When I grow up---I want to be a    "Life Manager"---

I have LOADS of information and skills acquired over a life time of living and "taking care of business."  I can talk insurance with you, contracts with you, servicemen, carpenters, remodeling, finances, taxes, selecting professionals, budgets, pay your bills, hire your gardener/housekeeper/nannie, consult with you on your investments, make your appointments, handle your insurance claims, ---almost ANY business detail you could think of as well as plan your diet/meals and exercise program.  I would be select and only provide services for a handful AT THE MOST---you pay me enough--I will do it just for you.  I could manage your life---down to the smallest detail.
LOTS of experience---head full of knowledge---plenty of acquired wisdom.

Only thing I don't have a good track record with is  "Relationships with Significant Others"---You are ON YOUR OWN----I respectfully bow out of that area of "Life".

Saturday, February 9, 2013

A POINT IN TIME-

I have spent a great deal of time today thinking about just what a date means.  When you view eternity from God's perspective---it is not even a grain of sand on the beach.  To us it is a way to measure time---to pause and remember a special occurrence in our lives---some good and some not.  The date causes emotions to rise to the surface---sometimes happy and sometimes sad.  

Really though a date is just that---a point in time to measure time.  The number of years we have been on this earth or the number of years when someone departed this earth.  The date rolls around---we pause--we reflect--and the next day--life goes on.  God created morning and night---to give us these markers--since we are mortal beings while on the earth and need a method to measure.  

Everyone has special dates that they always pause--reflect---remember.  No one is created unique--it happens to each and every one of us.  At the very minimum you have the day you were born---to keep track of your time here.

Today--40 years ago---I was married---and that was a point of time in my life--not really special to anyone else but me.  I pause today--I reflect-I count the number of years and tomorrow life will go on.  It's a point in time on the continuum of eternity--just a point in time.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

COWTOWN REPEAT

I am headed back to my soon to be new home tomorrow.  Henry's "Maid Servant" as he has named me will be back for his beck and call.  Henry was a good choice for a name----His first name should have been King.  I take it as a personal challenge to pull him back down to Earth!

I am in the running for "Mother of the Year"--this should just about put me over the top!  For some reason the "Little Mother" is exhausted---couldn't have anything to do with the fact of getting NO sleep!  Between a baby that eats every 2-3 hours and a 3 year old that will not go to bed and wanders around in the middle of the night---she's feeling slightly over-whelmed!  NOT to worry---Lulu is on her way!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

COME TO FORT WORTH AND WE WILL GO FOR A SURREY RIDE!

LONG time friend, Sonny, posted this on my timeline.  It seems that in downtown Fort Worth they have this new form of entertainment.  A pub on wheels!  WHO came up with that idea!

This could lead to a REALLY interesting post!  Since I am NOT known for my co-ordination----just think about it---enjoying refreshments from the pub---cycling with my legs--and trying to carry on a conversation while touring downtown Fort Worth.  I should charge admission!  HOPEFULLY someone else will be steering!

Monday, February 4, 2013

TO BUILD IT AGAIN--FIRST YOU MUST TEAR IT DOWN

Many of us want to start again---do it over---have another chance----here is what I have learned.  To start again--1st you must tear down what is already there.  Important life lesson that pertains to MANY parts of our lives.

I want a fresh start---a new beginning---but to accomplish that I am having to wade through what has been---keep what is important to who I am---but discard that which will not help me forge ahead.  I started that process 18 months ago--I am now fine tuning it.  It's not as gut wrenching as it was then--but it is sad.  I am tearing down the life I have known here for 40 years--it has to be done--before I can start again and grow. 

One of the things you learn as an athlete--that to move forward and gain strength---FIRST the muscle must be pushed to the point that it is torn down---THEN a MIRACLE---it grows and you become stronger!

SO--I am pushing to the point of tearing down--SO that I can become stronger and move forward---THAT IS A GOOD THING!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU ASK ME A QUESTION!

Be VERY careful asking me any questions or opinions at this point---I seem to have acquired a new found freedom of saying JUST what I think!  I noticed it last week when at a couple of meetings---a question is asked---I open my mouth and OUT POURS what EVER I am thinking.  There seems to be some freedom in knowing that I am moving---There are those that might tell you I have always experienced this freedom and told most just what I thought.  NOT TRUE---I carefully measure my words almost all the time---never wanting to ruffle feathers or hurt feelings.  I would NEVER hurt your feelings on purpose--BUT if you want my opinion---be ready for the response--WHO KNOWS if my guard will be up or down!

I trust you will not track me down in the Big City to give me an earful!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

DICHOTOMY OF EMOTIONS!

I am using a very critical eye going through my "things" and deciding take-or leave.  Almost everything has some memory attached to it---but also I have to be practical and remember I will have limited space and it is expensive to transport things.  SO--I am down-sizing again.  18 months ago I had a MAJOR down size---this is not so over-whelming!

  
I keep reminding myself---it's things---things are not important---relationships are important.  That is true--but often there is a sweet memory attached to those "things" and it is difficult to let them go.  I have to remember that I am the only one that has that memory--and anyone else seeing the object--would just see a "thing" not a memory.


SO--I am doing a good job of letting go.  MY KIDS OWE ME BIG TIME!!!!  Having gone through the process of sorting through a life time of "things" for my mother and in-laws---I assure you THEY OWE ME!  I have saved them LOTS of labor and discarding.  YOU ARE VERY WELCOME!

Friday, February 1, 2013

SPEED DIAL

Camille told me about E's 2 year old melt down recently.  I believe it was nice having my extra set of hands there while I was helping after Collin was born. E was having a normal 2 year old dramatic melt down---tears--on the floor---the world is ending screams.  He kept telling her---Baby to Henry (Give the baby to Henry-the 3 1/2 year old) Picke Up (Pick me up) while she is in the middle of feeding C---You have only 2 hands.

I told her when I move, they can call me when there is a crisis (although I will  be 10-15 minutes away and said fit could be over before I can get there).  She said, "Yes , I am buying the buys a phone and putting one number on it---YOURS and teaching them to speed dial.

SO I guess I will be #1 on the speed dial in someones phone finally!