CROSSING BOUNDARIES

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Yesterday's post on climbing fences, led to my friend and shady path owner, Jackie offering me a key to the gate.  I laughed and told her the story would not be nearly as funny if I had a key.  Thank you, Jimmie & Jackie for allowing me access to your shady path and the key offer.  I enjoy getting a laugh from you, dear readers, and I do not for once second mind the laugh coming at my expense.  I do ask that you refrain from trying to catch me climbing that fence with Hero in hand for a photo.  That is taking it a little too far.

NOW for the topic of the day~

We have a couple of counselors who alternate meeting with the ladies at 

once a week.  They are focusing our sessions on dealing with relationships.  In case you did not realize it, relationships can be

SO STICKY, you might believe you have stepped into quick sand or stuck your foot in a cauldron of hot tar.  No matter how you try, you cannot seem to pull yourself away from the mess you have waded off into. Last week we talked about boundaries and how to handle those who insist upon crossing them.  A great example, but simple one was given by one of the ladies concerning someone standing WAY TOO CLOSE in a line in a public forum (grocery store).  This is NOT a good idea during a pandemic.  Getting the space intruder to back up without seeming to attack them is sticky business.  It requires finesse and tact to disarm a potentially explosive situation.

I began to think about the giraffes in the book I just finished West With Giraffes.  Those giraffes have such sweet faces with doe eyes which seem to welcome you into their space.  BIG MISTAKE! if you get too close to those lethal weapons of LONG & STRONG LEGS!  The giraffes will lash out and literally kick you into tomorrow if you cross the boundary and get too close.  You DO NOT want a giraffe kicking you!

The giraffe has generations of being taught to be on the lookout for lions.  A giraffe will make a good meal for a pride of lions.  Giraffes instinctively are fearful and suspicious of lions.  They are constantly on the lookout for a sneak attack  as the  lions nip at their legs trying to take them down.  A giraffe does not know if you are a friend or lion when you approach them.  For the sake of their safety, they immediately lash out with those dangerous kicks  once you get too close and cross the boundary of their safe zone until they are convinced you mean no harm.  By then it could be too late, the damage is done.  It took establishing trust with the giraffes for them to no longer feel threatened by the keepers in the book.

If you watch nature long enough,

it will turn ugly.

WHERE could I possibly be going with this?  Unless you are going on an African safari or plan to take a job as a giraffe keeper at the zoo, what in the world can you do with this information?

There are giraffes all around us in the shape of our fellow humans.  Based upon past experiences, the person in front of you may think you are a lion who is going to attack and try to take them down.  Their defenses go up automatically and they lash out without even knowing if you are friend or a lion.  No one wants to be hurt or harmed, so we learn to be defensive in our responses to others.  Defensiveness often takes on the face of offensiveness--the attacker.   It is a sad commentary on the world, BUT it also is a learning tool for our response to those prickly pears in life.  I always wonder where the attack is coming from when I feel those legs lashing out at me.  Why? is always in the back of my mind.  There is almost always more to a situation than what meets the eye.  SO the lesson to be learned is how to establish and enforce boundaries without it feeling threatening to others.  Important life lessons are being taught at The Well.  Never too late to learn something new!

" My dear brothers and sisters,

take note of this:

Everyone should be quick to listen,

slow to speak,

and slow to become angry,

because human anger does not produce

the righteousness that God desires."

James 1:19-20

CLIMBING THE FENCE

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Yesterday's blog brought a comment from a faithful reader which left me laughing out loud.  "We find out what happened when David decided to stay at home with the story of Bathsheba."   LOVE it when you talk to me! NOW back to today's subject~

 It is HOT & HUMID here in North Louisiana right now.  There is NO respite coming from the oppressive weather until at least late October.  We Louisiana natives expect no less.  Sweating is a way of life. 

Here in The Hood, there are no trees of any size,  The developers came in and cleared our hill before plotting lots in an effort to utilize every square inch and use a cheaper way to develop.  It is NOT easy to build roads and houses with established trees to work around.  The oppressive heat necessitates really early morning walks with The Wonder Dog.  He is old and does not handle the heat well (NOR DO I & YES I AM OLD TOO).  By this point in the year, you cannot get up early enough to miss the heat wave slapping you in the face as soon as you step out the door.  Compound that with the sun and it can be unbearable by 7:00 AM.  I try to be out the door by 6:30 at the latest.

I have discovered a little secret just across the street from The Hood.  There is a lovely asphalted road in the shade which gives us a nice walk every morning.  There is only one problem ~ there is a locked gate at the entrance to the road.  Just recently I discovered I am good friends with the land owners.  OH, JOY!  (The benefit of living in a small town)  I was sweetly granted permission to walk on the shaded path anytime I wanted.  There is just one problem---you have to get around the locked gate.

It is quite comical to see me negotiating climbing the fence to enter the promised shade.  To begin with, I have to do a thorough search for snakes in the tall grass.  Who wants to put your  foot on top of a slithering serpent???  THEN I have to get these long legs over the railing while high stepping to try to avoid chiggers and ticks in the grass.  AND, DID I MENTION I HAVE TO CARRY THE WONDER DOG WHILE DOING ALL OF THIS?  It is quite the show to see me casually ignoring the no trespassing zone. (The joys of rural living)  I try my best to not have anyone driving by when I am climbing the fence.   I feel like I should wear a shirt saying                                                        

                                                   HEY-I HAVE PERMISSION!  

Once I get through the obstacles, we have a nice long walk down a deserted road IN THE SHADE.  

Thank you,  Jimmie and Jackie for sharing your piece of paradise!  Hero and I walk your lovely shaded road  3 or 4 times a week.  Bless you for sharing!

This story reminds me of the Israelites wandering in the wilderness before eventually (a short 40 years later) FINALLY arriving in The Promised Land.  Those years in the wilderness were not easy.  God was teaching them as they wandered.  They first had to climb the fence of 40 years of wandering to get to where they wanted to go.   Eventually they arrived in God's Promised Land and enjoyed the land of milk and honey.  The trip there though was not without trial to say the least.  BUT, life promised to be so much easier once they crossed that final river.

Something tells me when they finally arrived in the promised land, there was a sigh of relief along with the great celebration among God's people.  This all reminds me of our wandering through the life on this earth.  Eventually we WILL cross that final gate and enter the promised land.  Meanwhile, enjoy the journey and learn as you go.  There is an easier path coming--just beyond the gate.

"If the Lord is pleased with us,

then He will bring us into this land

and give it to us-

a land which flows with milk and honey."

Numbers 14:8

 

MAGIC MIRRORS

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The grands are all big fans of "Harry Potter".  They have read through the series of books at least a couple of times and watched the movies so many times they can recite the lines.  They are trying to educate Lulu on the intricacies of the World of Potter.  The last time I was there we watched one of the movies which had a magic mirror in it.  Professor Dumbledore thought he had it put away out of sight, but, alas, Harry discovered it on one of his forbidden nightly  wanderings through the halls of school.  The Mirror of Eirsed reflected your greatest wish.  Harry became stuck staring at the reflection of his mother and father with him in the middle.  His parents were killed by an evil nemesis when Harry was a baby, Harry's greatest wish was to be a family again. " Things were also not as they seemed with the Mirror of Erised. The old device reflected one’s deepest desires but kept them just out of reach."  Harry had become stuck staring at the refection of his deepest wish.  "Dumbledore knows that life can pass you by while you are clinging on a wish that can never be or ought never be fulfilled."  DEEP Stuff there, Friends!

The minute I heard Dumbledore gently correcting Harry, it hit me how profound and true this can  be.  You cannot change the past, nor is it wise to continually stare into the past.  There is a song by Bruce Springsteen called "Glory Days" which addresses being stuck in the past.  Life flies by while we tell the stories of yesterday.  NOW, I am not saying there is anything wrong with reflecting on our fond memories, BUT when we refuse to believe it could ever be any better ~ we are stuck in the deep mire of memories. 

AND THEN, we find ourselves not making new memories of today, but instead dwelling on yesterday.  It seems to me, we are responsible for making our memories, in most cases.  I love to be home, but I know one thing to be a fact, I am NOT making memories here alone.  It takes making an effort and engaging in community to write those new memories.  

What if David decided the pinnacle of his life was slaying that giant and went home and closed the door on the world.  He spent his days and nights re-telling the same old story until one day he woke up to find no one to listen.  All his admirers had moved on to their latest hero and left David to stare into the past.  What a sad tale that would have been.  But God was not finished with David and David was willing for God to use Him.  David had a long life with many more memories to be made.  The Word is filled with his life story.  Are we not glad David continued to live the life in front of him and did not stay stuck staring into the glory of yesterday.

Perhaps we begin to believe it could not get any better.  You may be right, BUT you will never know until you stop gazing into yesterday and step into today.  I am pretty certain God wants us to relish the gift of today and make the most of it.  There are lessons to be learned--even from Harry Potter.

"Remember not the former things,

nor consider the things of old,

Behold, I am doing a new thing;"

Isaiah 43:18-19

WHAT AM I READING?

 I am considering posting a link to the books I cam currently consuming on Saturday.  I need some feedback on whether or not you would like to see this,.

DON'T FORGET TO BECOME A SUSCRIBER, PLEASE, IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY DONE SO!  The form is on the right side of the page.

Before I proceed with one of those currently in my stack, let me tell you what I have begun doing.  If you consume as many books as I do, it is really difficult to remember them all.  Unless they are really extraordinary, they tend to get lost in the gray matter.  I have begun recording my books on notes cards which I keep in a small card file such as this~

Available from any office supply or discount store, this now stores the cards recording the books I have read to date this year.  I plan to continue to do this practice.  It gives me a record of what I read, when, rates the book, and a short synopsis.  I have found these little notes invaluable in keeping up with the books I have read and the notes usually bring the book content back to the surface of the old brain.  A little memory trick to help with my forgetfulness these days. 

I recently finished this book~

which I purchased HERE

My short synopsis of this book on my note card

VERY GOOD BOOK

"Book filled with truths which cause you to slow down and think.

Two almost opposite couples, both in ministry, are the main characters.  The story of how God morphed them into a team despite their differences.

HAPPY READING!

LOOKING FOR HIS FACE

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The Hood Book Club is reading a delightful book this month.  I must confess I began reading it before the last meeting and could not put it down.  I had devoured it by the last month's  meeting in a few days time.  The bad news---I hope I remember the details for a month😏😖

Fiction based upon fact--one of my favorite genres, the book is a wonderful page turner. You can find it on Amazon  HERE and I give it a two thumbs up!

One of the passages which stuck with me is a character describing looking into the face of  one of the two giraffes and seeing the face of God.  Sometimes I read something so profound, I stop and gasp with amazement of the truth in it.  Reading those words, I was transported to Africa and the beauty of the creation on display there.  I have never been to Africa, but through the magic of the written word and wonder of the camera, I understand  a fraction of the enchantment of seeing it face to face.

I must confess when I read the passage, I began to think of all the places I see the face of God around me.  New born babies, birds greeting the dawn with a song, flowers upon flowers laced with early morning dew, trees with spreading limbs filled with fall colors galore, a hug of a dear friend, the joy of a family circle, the smell of fresh mown grass, the amazement of the glory of nature, a laughing child, great pieces of the master's art, and  certainly the beauty of music.  God's face shines through His creation all around us--every day--without fail.  

Picture from one of my hiking trips

We are given the gift of seeing His face, but it is our responsibility to stop and look for it.  God wants us to know Him in a deep and abiding way.  This will only happen if we look for Him.  What better place to start than by seeking His face as reflected in the majesty of His creation all around us?  Look for Him---and you WILL find Him.

"You have said,

'Seek my face.'

My heart says to you,

'Your face, Lord, do I seek.' "

Psalm 27:8

~~WHO ARE YOU?

There is only one boss at Casa Lulu  ~ and it is NOT me.

We do not know much about Hero since he is a rescue.  What I do know are clues about the little fellow.  He is definitely a lap dog--spending much time sitting either in my lap or by my side (depending upon how warm the weather).  He is persistent in getting his way as evidenced by sitting with his nose on the door until I relent and take him for a walk.  He is a silent beggar without shame.  He does not climb up or whine but instead stares at me with soulful eyes that say, "You aren't going to share?"  He can pout with the best of them ~turning his back to me and staring at the wall when things have not gone his way.  He is a pint size bully who has never seen a big dog that he did not want to go after.  This necessitates being swept up and carried until the offending dog has passed.  He has never seen a cat he did not hate and the squirrels drive him nuts (literally).  He likes his naps and prefers a nap buddy when possible.  He howls as if he is dying if he thinks I have gone off and left him when he hears a slamming car or house door.   When he has had enough on a  walk or I do not go in the direction he wants, he sits down and refuses to budge.  This calls for me carrying him much to the delight of my neighbors. (Who is walking who?)    I miss my dear old vet who was always one to put me in my place.  Dr. Davis often reminded me that dogs act a lot like their owners.  HUMM---I DON'T THINK SO!

What is true is our actions reflect a lot about our personalities and where we have come from and been through.  I was born a middle child.  I always acquiesce to what others want.  My standard answer is it does not matter to me.  What matters to me is you being happy.  I am a peace maker and caretaker.  Serving others gives me great joy and perhaps helps me  feel needed.  I prefer being in the shadows to having the spotlight shining on me.  Seldom do I take things at face value, but spend a great deal of time pondering and analyzing what precipitated someone's action or reaction.  Material things are of little importance, but I tend to be a creature of comfort.  I like to stay busy, but reading away a day does occasionally happen.  I love people, but not crowds preferring one on one or small groups.  Chit chat and idle social conversation seem a waste of time, but I am always up for a heart to heart.  I love adventure, but stay in my comfortable rut most of the time.  The older I get, the more emotional I become.  Most of my tears today are tears of joy.  Family is one of my greatest joys and blessing and friends are the family I choose.  

These are a one paragraph description of who Hero is and who I am.   There is SO much more ~volumes and volumes  more.  We are complex creatures--all of us.  Those who do not think they are complex--aren't really thinking about it.  I have read countless books about how we become who we are.  The effects of trauma. birth order, environment, parenting, expectations or lack of expectations by ourselves and others, illness, financial security or insecurity, perceived and real danger, experiences, losses, betrayals, and on and on and on.  I should note perhaps at the top of the list is the gene pool from which we sprang. Each and every thing in our life makes us who we are today AND who we are is a moving--evolving --never stagnant mark.  Who you are today is not necessarily who you will be tomorrow.  My reactions to events are not the same today as they would have been 20 years ago.

BUT GOD, I take great comfort in knowing that NONE of this is a surprise to God.  He knew--before the beginning of time---He knew everything about us.  We are a marvelous conglomeration of genetics, environment, and circumstance.  No two of us are alike--what a wonderful miracle of God!  How boring this world would be if we all lined up like tin soldiers with no individual thought or action.  What a wonderful world God has given us to inhabit.  AND--the really good news, God knows exactly who you are!  We cannot surprise him--and He loves us in spite of who we are.  Sit down and write one paragraph about who you are and marvel at how God works.  He truly is a GREAT GOD!

"There is no one like you, O Lord;

You are great,

and great is Your name in might."

Jeremiah 10:6

WHOSE FAULT IS THIS?

 A friend from long ago had a parrot and two tiny dogs--yappers--you know the type!  He had problems galore trying to get the two dogs house broken.  Did I mention the parrot not only talked but was a great mimic?  As he let me in the door of his house one day, I heard his voice from the back of the house saying,

"WHO DID THAT ON THE FLOOR?"

His parrot was parroting his owner and looking for someone to blame for the latest mess on the floor left by one of the yappers.  This has been over 30 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.  For some mysterious reason I cannot remember where I put my book last night, but what happened 30 years ago it is as vivid as if it were yesterday.  NOW, if dogs could talk or point, I am fairly certain there would be a great deal of blame shifting and denial going on.  Who wants to suffer the shame and embarrassment of being the guilty dog (literally).  

 Most of us would prefer to not take the blame for anything which will humiliate us.  We over-ride our nagging conscious and do the dirty deed and quickly begin to figure out a way around admitting we did it.  At the very least as one of the songs from "Chicago" so well put it, "He Had It Coming" will be singing from our lips as our justification .  

 

Recently I saw "Cruella" with friends.  NOW, you may think this is another Disney movie meant to entertain.  I came away thinking it a great example of blame shifting for one's evil ways.  OH and do not get me started on the "Nature vs Nurture" debate.  Estella who became Cruella was basically a two hour tale of why she became Evil Cruella.  

Blame shifting goes back to the beginning of mankind.  Adam had his finger out pointing at Eve before God could get the question all the way out.  'She made me do it!'  By the time children can talk they are trying to shift the blame for their mis-doings.  They will stare you in the eye and deny, deny, deny.  It is if they believe  they did not do it, they can convince their parent of the same.

We are created sinful.  We also are created  wanting to deny our sin or explain it away.  It is amazing when the shortest route out would be a confession, we will go to great lengths to shift the blame.  We will deny fault sometimes even when caught red handed by blaming someone else for causing us to do it.  At the end of the day, we are left with no one to blame but ourselves.

We have a "Get Out of Jail Free" card for our mis-doings, BUT we have to first confess to use the card.  Why is it so difficult to confess?  Perhaps it goes back to the desire mankind has for placing himself on the throne.  God is without fault-perfect-blameless, so follow me here, if we are not guilty of wrong (sin) then there is no reason to confess.  Well then--

WHOSE FAULT IS THIS THEN?

Remember this old adage---Confession is good for the soul  ?  Time to come clean- own up and start again. 

"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

  If we confess our sins,

 he is faithful and just,

 and will forgive our sins 

and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I John 1:8-9

 

A FACE LIFT

 Have you noticed the blog has had a facelift? Most of you know I know just enough about technology to fill a thimble.  I can stumble my way through many things, but have the scars to prove the missteps I have made.  This facelift was courtesy of "MY FAIRY BLOGMOTHER" who was introduced to me by my blogging friend Linda Stoll.  The blogging guru- held my hand while pulling information from me to come up with an original and personalized blog page.  Bless her!

As with most facelifts, one small thing needing to be fixed led to a big overhaul.  It is the same way with us women.  We look in the mirror and discover a perceived imperfection which seems to need fixing.  The next thing you know we are on the slippery slope of cosmetic correction fueled by a world which is always touting perfection.  You cannot win at that game.  

What began this was my subscriber feed was going away ~ IN JULY ~  NOT that I would ever procrastinate to the very last minute.  In all honesty, I looked at their suggestion of how to proceed with a fix-shrugged my shoulders and went on to the next thing. I certainly was distressed over losing my readers, but truthfully could not wrap my head around how to proceed.  It is a BIG deal in the blogging world to lose the link to those who might read your musings.   Many of you have opted to have a link emailed to you when I post.  Since we all know I am less than reliable about posting daily--life gets in the way, this assures you will have notice of each and every time I do sit down to share my thoughts.  On the right side of your page, you will note a SUBSCRIBE  form.  It will be a great help if you will subscribe on this form.  Your name will not appear nor email anywhere on the blog.  The really good news is that My Fairy Blogmother was able to transfer all of you existing subscribers to the new platform-Mailchimp.  Hopefully you have begun to receive the notice of postings from this site.

You will notice Godmother also installed a new header, changed the colors and gave me a new format.  The only thing I can take credit for is suggesting we use a sunset in the header and the corresponding deep honey color used in the lines, bullets, etc.  She waved her magic wand and presto it was all done in 24 hours.  MAGIC!

I am never opposed to a facelift---improvements to us physically, intellectually, and most important spiritually.  I see nothing wrong with making the most of what we have.  BUT, what ever kind of changes we make on the outside, one thing is certain, we are still the same on the inside.  The esthetics of the blog may appear new and fresh, but the writings will be the same.  Heartfelt, soul searching, mind stretching musings from the very depths of my soul.  Thank you, Dear Readers, for your encouragement of reading.  It makes this labor of love all worth while.

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up,

just as you are doing."

I Thessalonians 5:11

DUAL CITIZENSHIP

 While in Austin for #2 Grand's graduation and to finally see #7 Grand again, I met a really sweet couple and their baby who are a mixed marriage.  She is Texan (you notice I did not say American--Texans always claim their Texas heritage first) and he is English.  They are currently living in England and were back in Texas visiting relatives.

In case you are wondering about a size comparison between the two--here you go.

I sat by the husband, who is from England at lunch, and had the opportunity to question him extensively.  NOW--for the pressing question we all would ask someone from England first- "How do you guys feel about the royals and all that drama?"  WELL NOW---as intrigued as many Americans are with the royals, it seems those who are footing the bill for all the pageantry are more underwhelmed and appalled with all that has been happening across the pond.  It would seem there is a great deal of unrest among the John Q. Citizens about the cost of this "tradition."  The feeling is that after the present queen is gone, there might be changes in store.  The long history of the monarch may or may not survive her death.  While there is a great deal of respect and love for the beloved monarch, Charles is another story.  One thing is for certain, change is never easily brought about--that is what wars and rebellions are all about.  Only time will tell, but now you know at least what one Englishman thinks.

As we spent the time chatting about the start of their relationship in America and eventual move to England, I was intrigued to find out they both have dual citizenship.  NOW--as a retired CPA, my first thought is about the tax implications-if you think the tax code is staggering for someone who lives in the states, try having one foot in two countries.  OH--THE TANGLED WEB!

The two of them did not seem bothered with the intricacies I was obsessing over, instead seemed quite happy with the dual citizenship.  Where would your loyalties lie?  How would you decide where to have Christmas?  Would your child have dual citizenship or claim loyalty only to their birth country?  On and on--are the deep entanglements of not only combining two families but also two families from different countries.  It makes me want to crawl in a cave and hide.

Though I have lived in two different states during the last few years, I have not been citizens of both states at the same time.  It has occurred to me to try and have a small home in both places, but that is more than a little bit overwhelming. To be a good citizen of two places is a difficult balancing act to say the least.  It seems to me that one or the other or both will be short changed.  It is the epitome of spreading oneself thin.  Some have vacation homes, but they are truly not citizens of the area where they spend short bursts of time.  Our homes are the places we spend the majority of our time.

After thinking this over, I began to realize I actually hold dual citizenship.  I am a citizen of this world and a citizen of the eternal world.  It is not always easy having a foot in both worlds, for you see there are plenty of things about this terrestrial ball which I find deeply troubling.  I am certainly torn between the two worlds at times.  So much and so many that I love are here, but the shining glory of the eternal world is the very essence of love.  Someday my dual citizenship will end and I will claim Heaven as my home.  The continuing question I took from my conversation was "How to be a good citizen?"  My conclusion-

Make the most of the place I am placed each and every day.  Look for the day's opportunities placed before me and rise to meet the occasion.  I am praying to be a good citizen of where God has placed me and look forward to claiming my final citizenship in my eternal home.  

"But our citizenship is in Heaven.

And we eagerly await a Savior from there,

our Lord Jesus Christ."

Philippians 3:20