LEFT BEHIND

 As Hero and I made our early trek this morning, for some reason, I cannot even remember, I became stuck on the words, "Left Behind".  My mind seems to have many forked roads, and I am notorious for drifting down fork after fork.  A straight path is seldom my course.  BUT--on to where it  went.

Obviously I do not remember where this all started, but the first fork I took was the books and later movies from the "Left Behind Series" by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins.  If you have never read these books---they were at a very minimum thought provoking.  One of the things I remember is reading them aloud to one of our boys.  Think "Star Wars" with a faith connotation.  

I then came upon this fork which is based upon the US Congress Act of 2001 which caused such an uproar from the educational system and parents.  President Bush II signed this bill.  My last child was graduating from high school in 2001, so it really had no impact upon me personally.  BUT as a regular volunteer in the schools for years---I saw and heard plenty about this.

Next fork up came all my years of running, hiking, or any other form of physical activity.  I pretty much was always left behind.  My exercise buddies were all highly competitive---ME---not even an ounce of competitive.  I am not certain how I ended up in this group, except I do love to laugh and enjoyed their good company.  Once the race from Point A to Point B was over all was fun and games, but the race was always on from the moment someone said, "GO!"  Ferdinand should be my middle name because I take great delight in strolling along and smelling the flowers.  What's the hurry was always rolling around in my head---after all, we were certainly not going to the Olympics.

The next fork had me thinking about the times in life, I have felt left behind---alone.  I strongly suspect we all have had these moments.  That time when we felt forgotten--ignored--abandoned.  Not the happiest of memories, but I also know most of us have had the experience and it is not fatal.  In fact, I strongly suspect God uses those moments to reveal Himself profoundly to us.

As Hero and I rounded the last corner and headed into the last quarter of a mile, it occurred to me there are things in life we should leave behind.  We should be the one saying, "I leave _________behind, and resolve to take the fork toward a better future."  That is where I am going to leave you--thinking about what in your life would you be better off--more at peace- even experiencing greater joy, if you would only leave it behind?  I have not one but a few AND I am asking God to help me leave them behind.  When you realize not one thing is gained by this thing in your life--it is time to consider---

"I will leave this behind"

"But one thing I do:

forgetting what lies behind

and straining forward to what lies ahead,

I press on toward the goal for the prize

of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 3:13-14

KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW

I have a friend I have met since I moved to Fort Worth this time around that I really enjoy a good discussion with.  He is working on His second masters degree and headed to a doctorate in theology  from a seminary here -The Brite School of Divinity.  TCU was originally a university founded by the Disciples of Christ denomination.  Brite is the seminary on the TCU campus.   From my discussion with this friend, I have determined the seminary leans to the liberal side.  His liberalism does not scare me---I do not feel attacked when we talk---it causes me to think.  There is no threat in a healthy discussion,  instead it can stimulate great growth and affirmation of your beliefs.  

I recently saw this friend and we began our discussion with me asking, "What courses are you taking this semester?"  He is taking one course which really struck up a conversation-

"Theology Of The Prison System"

It was a long and deep discussion--but let me expound upon one theory he gave me ~

The underlying question of the prison system is do you think it is working?

He then told me the class had come to the conclusion that your view of God would be the basis in your conclusion.  He seemed to think that we look at God in one of two ways-

1.  He is a wrathful God who allowed His Son to suffer, be tortured, and murdered for the sins of man.

2.  Christ was a man --and what happened to Him was a consequence of being a man-not that God wanted this for Him.

I walked away with the wheels turning.  Here is my answer.  We have sin because of Adam and Eve(man)  opening that door.  Everything that God created was good---man allowed evil to rule in this world by his disobedience.  God loves His people---He desires a relationship with man---and the only way this was possible is if man's sin was atoned for.  He allowed Christ (part of God---the Three In One) to become man---and pay that cost.  Since God and Christ are part of the Trinity---3 in 1---it seems to me that it  follows that God also suffered when Christ did.  He was willing to sacrifice His Son---a part of Himself---to restore the original Kingdom.  No greater love has any man.  SO---God is righteous---not wrathful AND His love is so great that He- through His Son suffered so that we could live in relationship with Him.  We are allowed in the presence of God because Jesus threw open the door - not because the anger of God was satisfied through the suffering of Jesus.

Where am I headed?  

1.  Everyone does not have to think as we do.  We are charged to love our fellow man.  Do not be threatened when someone is different--instead be challenged to affirm what you believe and then agree to disagree in peace. 

2.  Think through these important points of faith---be ready for others to ask those hard questions.  The world is going to challenge us; life is going to challenge us.   Before the challenge comes---think over what you believe and why. 

I came away from that discussion more convinced than ever of God's deep love--abiding presence--and constant provision for all we need.  AND I look forward to my next discussion with this friend.  He is an interesting man--with a great concern for his fellow man--and he is willing to share what he has learned without being threatened when I think differently.   We all could use a friend like this---pointing us to nail down what we believe.

"That according to the riches of His glory

He may grant you to be strengthened with power

through His Spirit in your inner being,

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-

that you,

being rooted and grounded 

in love,

may have strength to comprehend with all the saints

what is the breadth and length

and height and depth,

and to know the love of Christ,

that surpasses knowledge,

that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."

Ephesians 3:16-19

THE CLOCK IS TICKING

 One of the things on my mind these days is "Do I have a plan?"   Of course---I do not have a crystal ball, but it does not take a genius to figure out I have much less time there is in my future than the time in my past.  I have begun making  a conscious effort to think about and write down--those things I hope to accomplish with the time remaining.  Does this sound narcissistic?  I hope not, because it is not ALL about making me happy---it is more about living in the abundant joy of the blessing of the life God gifted me with.  I know - beyond a shadow of a doubt- if I am not intentional in seeking the joy promised---it will slip away.  So I am on a mission---and plan to write it down for all to see.  You are my accountability partner---please hold my feet to the fire!

My children seem to think I am going to live forever.  When I give them the genetic facts of the lack of longevity in the family tree, they scoff and take a trip down the river of denial.  I am much more pragmatic---and yes, I might make it past the early 80's which is the cap of my genetic time line, but you never know.  I am prepared---and the challenge now becomes how to have as much joy as possible over the time remaining.  I do not sit  around in a state of dread, but I also do not want to flitter away the time remaining.   Yes, I am looking forward to being in the presence of The Father & His Son---but I am certain I should be making the most of the time here.

The first thing that occurred to me was it will take energy to accomplish all I may put on that list.  Lulu Wisdom tells me to grow my energy---I have to expend some energy.  My running days are over---my aches and pains are manageable---but I also need to be kind to my body.  Yes, I walk--at least three times a day---but that is not enough.  Those walks are dictated by Hero's ability to endure on any given day.  He is old too.  Some days are better than others---but he is a tiny dog---and has good days but also bad in his old age.  So those walks are not going to grow my energy.   I began thinking about what I could do that I really enjoy---that also would help me grow my pep and vitality.  What could I do that can be done---anywhere---without special effort or equipment?  What could I do by myself of with others?  WHY I COULD DANCE!  If it was good enough for David to dance for the joy of the Lord, it should be good enough for me. 

There was a day when I absolutely loved cutting a rug---could not get enough of it.  Then, later in life, my dancing was tied to aerobic group exercise.  Depending upon how hard you go at it---it can be a great aerobic workout---to the music you love---at any time of the day or night---with no special outfit or equipment.  Turn my playlist on my cell on and get with it or look up a video on Youtube and follow along with an instructor.  There are countless opportunities and very little to stop me.  Why if I am having a bad day physically--turn on slow and steady and sway with the easy beat.  BUT--on my joy list---part of my plan---unless I am ill---spend time every day dancing.  Dance it out---go with the beat---and enjoy the double benefit of doing something I enjoy---and getting some exercise doing it.  NOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN!  What a great thing to bring me joy with added benefits.  I am starting today---and hopefully will spend time everyday---dancing in the joy of the Lord.

"Let them praise His name with dancing,"

Psalm 149:3

THERE IS ONLY TODAY

 My thoughts seem to be centered around memories of the past a great deal lately.  As I pondered this, it occurred to me almost all of my dreams (perhaps all--but I cannot remember every dream--only that I dreamed at times) are centered around the past.  People I knew, events that occurred, places I have been, things I have done, and probably at the top of that list, at least recently, has been family.  Our dreams are manifestations of our subconscious when we are sleeping.  (Disclaimer--this is not scientific---only my observation).  SO---a little deductive reasoning---they are part of my past.  Perhaps the events of a particular dream have never occurred, might occur, or did occur, but the cast of our dreams are normally someone we know.  Oh, certainly, I have had a guest appearance by someone not known to me---but the scenario is usually some real thing that has happened or we have thought about.  I have had a handful of dreams---I felt were God sent, but they centered around events and people in my life.  So---follow me--then dreams come from our past---a great deal of the time.

Occasionally I dream about something which could happen.  Those dreams usually come from something I may have dreaded, or obsessed over, or anticipated.  I am dreaming of things to come---not things which are in my past.  It would stand to reason then--that dreams are past and future tense in most cases.  Think that over---how could you dream of the present when you are presently sleeping.

As I mulled this over--it occurred to me we really only have the present ~ the current moment.  Nothing more is promised--there is no guarantee of a future.  SO---I only have today to work with when it comes to leaving any thing of value, importance, or good.  That is a heavy proposition to live with.  If we want to leave this world a better place, influence those in our path, or any other noble and good thing ---the guarantee is there is only today to work with.  That puts a entirely new spin on how I plan to spend my day.  Daunting to say the least.

"Do not boast about tomorrow,

for you do not know what a day may bring."

Proverbs 27:1

NEW BOOK

 A new book review for you today---I love it when I find a real winner.  This book caused me to reflect upon the history I have lived through and the profound effect it has had on all of us.   The author of The Nightingale ,Kristin Hannah, has hit upon a new winner-

You can find this book HERE.  As an Amazon Associate I am required to tell you if you follow my link they may send me a very small payment.  I wish it was enough to buy a cup of coffee--but since coffee has somehow gone up to  $5 a cup---well there is no way.  I do support ministries for the least of these with any compensation which might come my way.

This books is SO intense---I occasionally had to put it down and take a break.  A historical fiction account of a nurse during the Viet Nam war---I relived those years and emotions with each page.  Most of my generation lost someone they knew--perhaps someone they loved during this controversial war.  We all remember the news those days.  This is a recount of those nurses who were on the medical front lines during those years, and  the effect the war had on their lives and, in many ways, an even greater lack of recognition for their sacrifices than the soldiers. (I can write a run on sentence with the best of them!) It touched me deeply.

As I read the book, I came away pondering a deep question.  Was this the beginning of the rage in society which we are still seeing today?  Anger can be a healthy emotion--especially when we use it constructively to bring about change.  Somehow during this long tragic war (military action since there was no declaration of war---definitely semantics!!), the anger over the war spilled over from anger into an all consuming rage.  Rage is not a healthy emotion--and it can lead to  physical harm that detracts from solving the problem.  You might not agree--that is ok.  At many a point while reading, I was left with that burning question---was this the beginning of the overwhelming anger and rage we see in society today?

That was a little side note--the book is excellent.  If you liked The Nightingale, this is just as well written and thought provoking.  Intense--sad--heart breaking---this story gives an excellent description of the consequences of war and the long hard years of making peace at the end.  I highly recommend this book.

My soul hath long dwelt

With him that hateth peace.

I am for peace:

But when I speak, they are for war."

Psalm 120:6-7

FEAR AND ANXIETY

Currently, I am reading a really good novel (more to come) and I would say the underling theme is the emotion  of an era in American history.  It fits right in with the current sermon series at church,

I Think

I Feel

I Am

It also nicely segues  into today's blog topic----anxiety and fear.  Anxiety seems to be epidemic in today's world and there is an entire class of pharmaceuticals out there for this malady.   I experienced a major anxiety attack  while driving home from Austin after visiting with #1 son and family over a decade ago.  I literally thought I was having a heart attack and had to pull over.  After calling my nurse friend, she explained what I was experiencing was anxiety.  My mind was in overdrive with all the "What If's".  My body was actually experiencing physical symptoms caused by my mind putting great stress on it.  I was living in the "Land of What Might/Could Happen".  There is a good reason God does not want us to be anxious----it saps the energy we could be productively using until we are literally good for nothing.  Rather than face things as they happen--we are dwelling on the what might happen.  Such a waste of time and energy.

One of the sermons in our current series defined anxiety as being "What might happen"

Then there is the moment when we are in the midst of danger, turmoil, chaos or strife.  My body has a strange reaction to periods of actual danger or threat of harm.  In the moment, I am fine---it is after all is said and done that I fall apart.  Last night one of my  alarms went off at 2:00 AM.  I immediately sprang from the bed with my heart racing trying to determine what was on fire.  Thankfully it was a low battery indicator on the carbon monoxide indicator that proceeded to screech every 10 minutes for two hours (WHY is it always in the middle of the night--NOT in broad daylight?)  In the moment, I was fearful there was  something in this three story building with multiple apartments was on fire.  In the moment I was fearful, because I had been warned there was danger present.  

The sermon defined fear as "It's actually happening"

There is the distinct difference of something which possibly--might---maybe happen and being in the heat of the occurrence.  God also does not want us to be fearful--even in the midst of it really happening.  What are we going to do with all this fear and anxiety?  If God allows us to have these emotions, but does not want us to suffer from them, what are we supposed to do?

Look to The Word-

Anxiety- "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  Philippians 4:6-7

Fear- "Fear not, for I am with you: Be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you.  I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Anxiety & Fear- "Say to those who have anxious heart, 'Be strong; fear not! Behold your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God.  He will come and save you.' "  Isaiah 35:4

Bottom line---God desires for us to trust in Him---to leave our anxiety and fear behind--KNOWING He is faithfully with us---even in the worst of times~we can TRUST in HIM.  AND as you lean into Him time after time---it becomes easier and easier--based upon our experience that we CAN and SHOULD Trust HIm!

 

WHEN I AM STRONG

 I was raised to be a strong--independent woman.  My mother's life path was not an easy one and she had to gather her strength and put on a brave face--so many times.  One of the things she did reveal to me--in a small glimpse of her  trek through this life---was her first love.  The disapproval of the parents of this first love.  Disapproval to the point of managing to put an end to that relationship.    He was destined for college--law school---they were too young--and it was stopped by his parents--much to her heartbreak.

She survived the loss of her first child at full term--with Daddy off to WWII.  She survived the war years--living in a life of the unknown in a day of NO instant form of communication.  She survived the dread of seeing the Western Union deliverer coming to your front door.  She survived those years of dreading the worst you could imagine.  While grieving the loss of her first born.

There is more---much more---years of difficult times---but all that loss, anxiety, stress and grief began the growth of a tough outer shell.  The motto of sucking it up (my words not hers--she would NEVER say suck it up) --no matter how great the pain.  Never show your weakness, but instead swallow those tears and bear the pain--with a straight face.  No room for weakness--above all else be strong.

This has been a life lesson for me -- when I am  weak---HIs strength is visible through me.  We have all been told---God will never give you more than you can bear.  I do not agree with that statement.  Instead God may well give you more than you can bear--except for Him being  by your side.  He has promised in our weakness to be by our side---to uphold us---to bear our pain with us.  When I am strong,  I am placing myself on the throne---I am handling it.  When I admit---I am weak---I do not think I can do this---He shows Himself to me in a sweet--tender---faithful manner.  He upholds me in my weakness with His Strong Right Hand.  So where am I going---admit your weakness---allow Him to teach you His character by allowing yourself and others to see your vulnerability and weakness.  Allow Him to uphold you---and give Him the praise and glory for His strength and protection.  When I am strong, relying on my own strength---I have forsaken God's gift of love---when I am weak---He strength is proclaimed from the deepest realm of my soul.

"For the sake of Christ, then,

I am content with weaknesses, insults,

hardships, persecutions, and calamities.

For when I am weak,

then I am strong."

II Corinthians 12:10

PARABLES FROM LULU

I had a 2800 + square foot house while raising my children.  It was stuffed to the brim--their stuff, my stuff, hubby's stuff---LOTS OF STUFF!  AND I go through the stuff at least once a year and purge--but still stuff-stuff-and more stuff!

Since that time I have lived in various smaller size houses including the current 800 square feet apartment.  Each of them ended up filled with stuff. 

                        

The house I  am moving into, at the end of May, is a 1600 square foot house.  When I move, there will be plenty of room since I am more than doubling the size of my current abode.  After I reclaim furniture my offspring has used, and spreading things out, it will end up stuffed with stuff yet again if I am not careful.

All of that stuff in the original house (plus a garage, attic, and storage shed), I can honestly say I do not miss.  With each size house or apartment (2800 sq ft, 1800 sq.ft, 1300 sq ft., 800 sq ft & occasionally a repeat), I have ended up with stuff filling them.  There must be a scientific law similar to filling a vacuum, no matter what the size of the house--we manage to stuff it with stuff.

NOW--I consider myself a minimalist----and still the stuff can get overwhelming.  All you keepers (I will not call you hoarders), I do not know how you manage.  My rule of thumb--if I have not used or worn it in a year, it is out of here.  STILL it is a lot of stuff.  My son and daughter in law love to go to estate and garage sales.  I have enough stuff accumulated without taking on someone else's stuff!  

I recently commented on a friend's post who had just down sized, I have thought about going into business helping people to do their down sizing.  Quickly I realized I did not want to be universally hated by all the keepers, so one more how to make money scheme down the drain.

Having stuff is an energy drain.  You have to take care of all that stuff, you have to stress over where you put one particular piece in your treasure horde.  If you are not organized,  that is a problem unto itself since there are no rules or method in your storing.  

Where am I going--that stuff we drag around, think we cherish, seem to need---it does not add one iota of eternal consequence to your life.  AND--it has been my experience after clearing out my mother's stuff and helping with my in laws, when they went to assisted living and then the nursing home, most of it---no one will want.  Oh certainly there are some treasures, but the vast majority of it we take to the local thrift store.  All that time and energy over all those years---and the stuff we cannot live without--no one wants.  A sad commentary on where we place our importance.  I am vowing with this move--to think long and hard about everything I put in my space.  Do I really need it, do I want to spend my energy taking care of it---does it have eternal consequence?  PLEASE HOLD MY FEET TO THE FIRE!

"But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,

where neither moth nor rust destroys,

and where thieves do not break in or steal.

for where your treasure is, 

there your heart will be."

Matthew 6:19-21

CHANGE IS A COMING

 There are times I become frustrated when others do not take my good advice.  I can see the errors of their ways and have a good solution for them.  My blogging friend, Martha, commented on THIS blog about how painful it can be to sit back and listen without inserting our advice, wisdom, or opinion.  Yes, as discussed in the blog that day, when we are a born "fixer", it absolutely goes against our grain to not give our good advice.  With every ounce of my being I want to "come up with a plan" to solve their dilemma.  Most of the time, when others are speaking with me--they are not looking for a solution---many times only affirmation--others help with processing by listening.

My sister in law commented she was praying for the Holy Spirit to convict her of the need to keep her mouth shut and just listen.  She is like me--a middle child---born fixers.  Many times we think a change needs to be made by the speaker.  We see the error in their ways--and know if only they would change--it would be their answer.  BUT---they are not going to change--just because we think they should.  Many flat down right refuse to change.  We might come away from the conversation frustrated for their refusal to change, but the real frustration is with the speaker. 

The only one in this two way conversation we have any control over is ME.  I am the one in need of change. I am the one who may need to change my way of doing things.  When we hit the brick wall of frustration over another being unwilling to change their ways---we have to recognize and realize---we cannot force anyone to do anything.  SO the change may need to be in myself---I might need to recognize there is a  limit in control over the actions of others.  I might need to graciously listen--and realize--no matter what my feelings---I have no control over anyone else.

With my change in attitude, I am taking myself off the throne.  How much better would my life be if I could quit trying to be the one with all the answers.  If I could back away, keep still, and listen.  There is always the opportunity to change--the question is am I willing?

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests,

but also to the interests of others."

Philippians 2:4

STEALTH

 It seems I have always known what stealth means, but did not hear it used a great deal until the advent of the stealth bomber in 1977.  Here is what Dr. Google has to say about stealth aircraft ~

"While no aircraft is completely invisible to radar, stealth aircraft make it more difficult to detect or track the aircraft effectively, increasing the odds of an aircraft avoiding detection by enemy radar and/or avoiding being successfully targeted by radar guided weapons. " There is more--but this gives you the gist of stealth aircraft.

The entire point is to avoid detection.

There is a new trend and term floating around in university towns---STEALTH DORMS.  We have street after street of these houses in Fort Worth--especially in areas close to the local university.  When driving through the residential streets surrounding the university there is a slow trend of tearing down the old and putting up these multi- story homes which have the appearance of a large family home.  Upon closer examination, there are hints of who really lives in these monstrosities.  One would be the concrete back yard for parking multiple vehicles and then there is the circular drive in front which will also hold several vehicles.  Then there is the low maintenance--minimal landscaping, along with usually two front doors.  AND the "Let The Secret of the Bag Dead Give Away" ~ the Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night parties.  All efforts to blend in as a family home are for nil when every light is on, music is blaring, and the overflow of party goers is spilling out of the front doors.  The neighbors are NOT happy when they see one of these being built on their street.  As the old saying goes- "There goes the neighborhood".  All efforts of blending in to the neighborhood are now swept away and what once was stealth has had its cover blown.

The beauty and charm of a decades old neighborhood have been encroached by this huge house with multiple students residing there.  The latest in the ongoing trend of gentrification of cities.

Where could I be going?  Are we guilty of being Stealth Believers?  WHAT?  Do we disguise our belief by emulating the appearance of those around us?  Do we always openly portray our faith, or are we trying to just fit in?  Are we lukewarm---in an effort to avoid confrontation?  Thoughts while walking down a street filled with stealth dorms---am I hiding behind the world?

"I know what you have done;

I know that you are neither cold or hot.

How I wish you were either one or the other!

But because you are lukewarm,

neither hot or cold,

I am going to split you out of my mouth."

Revelation 3:15-16

COME AND GONE

 Well here we are on April 16, and another tax day has come and gone.  After years of this being the day I took a huge sigh of relief, it now is just another day.   Some years, I pause and thank God that is all behind me now; but I have had years go by that I literally did not even think about all those  years when this was a day of taking a HUGE breath of relief.  The deadline was past---and life went back to normal after three and a half months of long hours and nose to the grindstone.

Last week, we all experienced the eclipse to some degree.  There was a huge build up in the media to that memorable day.  Some of us were in the full dark in the middle of the day, some were under clouds, and some were inside building with no opportunity to see the view.  Where ever you were and whatever your circumstance--the day is now come and gone---in the blink of an eye.

When I think of all the dates, there are so many I had great anticipation of as I waited for them to roll around.   I think of the birth of my children and grands; Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, vacations, and a host of other causes for celebration.  And then there are those days which were anticipated but more with dread than joy.  Those days when dear loved ones said there final good byes is the very top of that list.  All to say---there are significant days in our time lines--but when the day has ended---they have come and they are now gone and we are left with only a memory.  Memories are the vapors left when the clock turns over to the next day--the future.

I am so thankful for memories---and all the joy they bring me.  I am also in awe that in God there is no time---he is the past, today and the future all at once.  I cannot help but be curious if when I have crossed over to be in His presence---if I will also be able to be present in every moment of my life.  Idle curiosity which really does not matter--for I will be in the presence of God Almighty and Jesus Christ.  All else--pales once all is come and gone.

"For thus says the One who is high and lifted up,

who inhabits eternity"

Isaiah 57:15

DEAD AS A HAMMER

 One morning last week, I was scheduled to drive one of the grands who had early morning band practice to school.  NOW- the really good thing about what I am about to tell you is I am always an early bird.  I don't mind sitting in front of their house and waiting a few minutes and actually prefer it so we are not late.  Once I get there and text I am there-they get into high gear getting out the door.  Lulu is known to give punctuality lectures occasionally.  That and organization are my two favorite topics for the lecture circuit.  Being organized and punctual are HIGH on my list.  OFF THE TOPIC--SORRY!  This particular morning when I tried to start my car---NADA---DEAD AS A HAMMER!  Well actually, it gave a half hearted attempt to no avail.  SO long story short---I still drove him, but his mother had to come get me and I had to take her back home to walk the two littles to their school.  THEN I had to get the car back to her to drive the next one's carpool.  Next year there will be 4 in 4 different schools---it takes a spreadsheet now to keep up with it all--that will really be fun!

So after doing some yard work at #2 son's house, #1 Daughter drove me home and we hooked the battery up to a charger.  Now that there is Youtube--we women can be even more independent when it comes to all those manly jobs and chores.  In all honesty, we did send her hubby a few pictures to be certain it was all hooked up correctly.  SO a few hours of charging and the car starts again.  So I make an appointment at the dealership to have the battery replaced--thinking even if I have to recharge it---I can get there for that needed energy source--the new battery.

That very night  when I went to check if the car would still start--NADA.  So I plug it into the charger for the night--thinking I can get it started  the next morning to keep my appointment.  Morning comes and---DEAD AS A HAMMER!  Desperate times call for desperate measures--I call the dealership.  LONG story short--they have a remote mechanic who is coming to install a new battery.  When he asked if I would be home---my answer---"Well, yes, since I have a dead battery and no way to get going--I will be here."  The car will not start unless it has an energy source to get it going.

I know you know where this is going.  How many mornings have my eyes opened to only think, "I'm exhausted---I just cannot do this today---my get up and go has got up and went."  Exactly like the car---I need an energy source to get my motor running and it's more than coffee.  My day begins with time in The Word--hearing from The Father.  By the time I have finished today's reading I am awake and my motor is running.  He has restored my body--and my soul.  AND just like the remote mechanic, He comes to me--when I call upon HIs name.  Praise God for His faithful presence AND providing remote mechanics!

"The Lord is my strength and my shield;

my heart trust in Him,

and He helps me."

Psalm 28:7

HOME SWEET HOME

 Once again I am moving soon.  This will be the seventh move in 13 years.  That has to be some kind of record.  I recently told someone who did not know me how many times I have moved and they asked was I in the military.  My reply--"It's a long story." and truthfully I have to really stop to ponder what has precipitated all this moving around.  For most of my life I was stuck like glue to one spot.  After I moved to college in 1966, I was in Ruston in a very few houses.  One house I lived in for 30 years and loved it.  I would still be there today if not for a life altering event.  

For all of you who have lived in one town and a small number of houses in your entire lifetime, I now understand why you call that home.  We all think of home as the place where most of our life has occurred.  I raised my family in that house of 30 years; that made me call it home.  I was never enticed by bigger and better as some are but instead loved the comfort of walls which surrounded my story.  I strongly suspect all my moving has been a quest to recapture that feeling of home.  Each and every house I have lived in (well except for the two apartments) in this 13 years had the potential of being home--but I never recaptured that feeling.  After much thought, I have come up with two conclusions ~

God gives us memories which include those of our homes.  That is a good thing.  I can have something come floating to the surface from long ago and immediately have the warmth spread through me.  If I go back far enough, I remember how I felt when my mother sold the home I grew up in to move to be closer to family when we all settled in Ruston.  I still dream about that house of my childhood.  Though I may not physically still own the house my children were raised in, the memories cannot be taken from me.

The most important thing I have come to believe is truth---all the dwellings on this side of eternity are temporary---including our bodies.  This is all fleeting---as my dear friend, Helen, says, "Hay & Stubble".  Our forever home---the place I will finally feel the warmth and comfort of being surrounded by love is yet to come.  When I leave this terrestrial ball--and all it entails---I will finally truly be home---in the presence of The Father & His Son.  For all of you who have a place you call home--how wonderful!  For those who have felt a quest for the physical presence of a building to call home--do no despair.  

"So we are always of good courage. 

 We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 

for we walk by faith, not by sight. 

Yes, we are of good courage,

 and we would rather be away from the body 

and at home with the Lord.

II Corinthians 5:6-8

LEANING IN

 I am a middle child, female, and a mother.  This combination makes me prone to being     "A Fixer".    I once prided myself in being a good listener.  My most recent read has me humbled and realizing while I am listening---I am also going through -in my head---how to help you fix whatever your problem, concern, or hurdle you are facing.  I do not like watching those I love suffering or being in pain.  My immediate go to is remedying the situation.  The truth of the matter is there is not always a remedy ---some things are not fixable.  This causes me great discomfort and I strongly suspect, to my chagrin, might prompt avoidance or fleeing.  That--I am NOT proud of.

I have been challenged to learn to listen---without trying to fix it.  Every ounce of my being wants to cure the problem, remedy the situation, or at a minimum give good advice.  BUT--could it be---my call is to listen without anything more than sympathy, empathy, or great concern?  Can I sit still---keep quiet---and just listen?  As I thought this over, I remembered the great pain I was in when my marriage collapsed.  I was very careful who I talked it over with and quickly learned when to keep my mouth shut.  Those who were willing to sit and listen--help me bear my pain and sorrow by just listening--were the ones who helped me the most.  As I sat there and talked it over---I was verbally processing---coming to terms with the situation.  Is it not true that the therapist's job is to help YOU answer your own questions?   At the end of the day, the best help we can provide is a listening ear.

Even when I am communicating (praying) with God, He is not verbally offering an answer.  He is faithfully sitting with me and letting me process.  Many times He then points in poignant ways to the answer.  He never immediately gives me an answer---instead He listens and patiently and lovingly sits by my side while I grieve, bemoan my sorrow, rant over frustrations, or scream with disbelief.  He can hear my pain, count my tears, and with great tender care provide the ear to hear.  Hopefully I have learned a lesson--though it will take effort to change.  After a lifetime of trying to fix everything---I have learned I was wrong in most cases.  Lord, give me a touch of Your patience to sit and listen-without judgement, without need to expound.  Help me to love as you love us---and listen.

"I wait patiently for the Lord;

He inclined to me and heard my cry."

Psalm 40:1

AND THE MOON COVERED THE SUN

 

After weeks of build up, the day finally arrived here in mid-Texas for the long anticipated solar eclipse.  The above video is from the local elementary school where two of my grands attend.  You can see the reaction of the children--screams of wonder, exclamations of awe, running, clapping, and shouting as the moon covers the lifegiving glory of the sun.  As I viewed the video, I had two thoughts~

The reaction of those in the field watching as this seeming miracle of the heavens took place was appropriate as the wonder was experienced.  Through out the ages, since the creation, this wonder has been seen over and over.  From the days when the scientific reason was unknown and great fear from lack of understanding fell over the earth until today when science has unraveled the mystery.  The most important thing I took away is the wonder of God's creation.  How He knew exactly how this would play out and when.  He also knows this will be my last viewing on this side of eternity of this wonder.  What a brilliant God we serve---His creation is amazing---and deserves shouts and screams of amazement.  This solidifies my belief in The Creator God.  Could this be a mere accident--the result of a Big Bang---with all the complexities~ I think not.

As the children expressed their amazement ~ do we stop and exclaim our awe and reverence for God and the gift of this world and all it entails?  Are we willing to lift our voices in praise and wonder to the same God who has witnessed every eclipse He caused---and holds them in the timeless suspense of Him?  Countless stood shoulder to shoulder watching and exclaiming their amazement.  Did we stop and consider Who was the Creator and praise Him?

What a wonderful view--what a glorious day---Thank God we saw His glory in a tangible way and give Him all the praise.

"It is I who made the earth

and created mankind on it.

My own hands stretched out the heavens:

I marshaled their starry hosts."

Isaiah 45:12

WATERFALLS

This past Sunday, I had to pure unbridled joy of seeing the third of my seven grandchildren baptized.  I told him two things at the end of that eventful day---     

                                  This is the MOST important day of your entire life.

                             God has answered my prayers that He woo you unto Him.

He looked at me and asked what does woo mean?  A good question----his mother was standing by me and quickly said---"Draw you to Him."  Exactly! We are charged with telling our spiritual story when presented the opportunity, but God and His Holy Spirit light the fire of desire to know Him on a personal  basis.  He draws you to Him--He woos you.

Without fail, I have been teary at each of these three baptisms.  Those tears were always tears of joy.  This was the inspiration for today's post.  As I thought over being teary, I realized tears come from different sources.  I have had angry tears, grieving tears, tears from laughter, tears of joy, tears of pain, and tears of the deepest sadness.  Tears seem to be the overflow we experience at times of great emotion.  The well of our feelings spills over into waterfalls of tears.  I then considered,  if the chemical make up of tears was different depending upon the emotion they are connected with.  I am no scientist, but as a person of reason, it would seem physically impossible for tears to have a different chemical composition.  They all come from the same place, so it stands to reason they are the same.  What is different is the emotion which causes that cascading or slow drip from our tear ducts.  Tears are precipitated by intense emotion.  As I grow older, I find it easier and easier to cry.  Having been raised to not show emotion in public, it has been a struggle to let go of  emotion--especially crying.  Today---those stored up tears are always near the surface waiting to spill out in moments of intense happiness or sadness.  

NOW--this leads me to the point of my post.  We are told in The Word

"You have taken account of my wanderings;

Put my tear in Your bottle.

Are they not recorded in Your book?"

Psalm 56:8

The question I have is does God keep only our tears of despair, sadness, grief; or does He also store up our tears of joy?  He is the giver of tears, but we are told the tears from mourning or pain will be no more once the old order of things has passed away.  It seems to imply the tears of joy will still be with us.   Deep thoughts and questions from a heart filled with joy--and eyes brimming with tears.

LOTS GOING ON

 Recently while watching an episode of "Mindless Chatter", there was a statement made that hit me right between the eyes.  #2 son and his family are moving and I am neck deep in packing and getting a house ready to sale.  That on top of my day to day busyness has me struggling to keep focused ~to the point that I am not  sleeping.  It is not that I am not tired---most days I am exhausted, but that I cannot seem to turn my mind off.  I come from a long line of list makers and currently even when I have that physical list on my trusty yellow pad--I cannot stop from going over my mental lists.  There is a lot going on--and though I enjoy a project--I begin to struggle when I start obsessing.  

Projects keep me going---I always need a purpose.  What I do not enjoy is becoming so immersed in the details that I forget to look for the BIG PICTURE.  I am a firm believer in there are no surprises for God when it comes to the smallest of details in our lives.  He is always present---always in the midst of all that happens.  The problem comes when we stop looking for God and pondering what He is showing us or teaching us--His purpose at the moment.  When we get so mired down obsessing over the details---we fail to pause and look for His presence.  Is there anything in life--that God cannot be in the midst of?   Time for a coffee break and a moment to pause and forget the list--forget the details and look for God.  He is ALWAYS here---we just have to look for Him.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go,

for to you I entrust my life"

Psalm 143:8

LESSONS FROM HERO-#5

THE FINAL IN THIS HERO SERIES---

" I HATE THEM ALL---NO MATTER THE COLOR, SHAPE, OR SIZE---THERE IS NO CAT I DO NOT HATE--

WITHOUT EXCEPTION! "  So says Hero.

Earlier in the week, I stated Hero would stay right by my side--come what may.  I did not tell the truth.  If Hero spots a cat---unless on leash---he is off to the races.  He has never spotted a cat he did not hate and try to go after.  As in making every effort to do bodily harm to said poor cat.  Thankfully most cats are wary---for good reason.

We all know there are cats that are not afraid of dogs and dogs who are friends with cats.  In Hero's world---if it looks like a cat, sounds like a cat, and dares come within eyesight--he is doing his best to attack.  Hero thinks "NO cat is a good cat!"  In Hero's world--if it is a cat--there is nothing which can redeem that.  He has no tolerance for any cat--and does not even give them a glimmer of a chance---simply because they are a cat.

SO---have we all become a great deal like Hero?  If we meet someone who does not look like us, smell like us, think like us, and in essence emulate those we surround ourselves with--do we refuse to give them a chance.  In fact, we go on the attack--without really knowing the complete person.  We refuse to even bother to get to know them---because they are  _______________you fill in the blank.  Our prejudices have morphed and now encompass philosophies --political, spiritual, economic, and on and on.  We have come a long way when it comes to race--but have walked across the street to philosophies.  We have taken a turn and decided if someone is not on the same page with us---we are unwilling to even listen and have a friendly discussion.  We are unable to see through the thick curtain of prejudice and look for commonalty.  We seem to firmly believe when Jesus told us to love one another---He only meant those who reflect our image.  HMMM---I am thinking this over--who do I hold prejudice against---and refuse to give a chance?  I am certain--I am guilty---and need to address this in my life.  How about you?

"And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart,

all your soul,

all your mind, 

and all your strength.

The second is equally important"

Love your neighbor as yourself.

No other commandant is greater than these"

Mark 12:30-31

LESSONS FROM HERO - #4

 Are you tired of hearing about Hero yet?  He is proof in the pudding that if we stop and observe there are lessons all around us.  AND we spend most of the day together.  In His old age, I do not leave him for long periods of time and I am fairly certain he feels as if he is watching over me.

Our daily routine (yes, I know I have told you repeatedly, BUT it plays into the post) includes at least three walks--depending upon what shape his stomach is in.  Some nights-it's every hour on the hour, but he is my responsibility and I take care of him.  Our longest walk of the day is first thing in the morning---up to two miles; then after napping all morning because I wore him out we walk around half a mile at noon;  the final walk of the day in the late afternoon is a mile.  For a really small dog---that is a lot of walking---he might outlive me!

With all this walking-- I don't talk to him because he does not talk back and MAINLY I prefer to not appear crazy (it's a struggle to conceal it somedays).  So instead of talking to myself, or having earbuds blaring in my ear, I observe and ponder what I observe.  One of Hero's quirky habits is how he handles the leash.  As long as he is walking in front or by my side, we have no problems.  BUT if he gets behind me--he comes to a dead dog stop (pun intended).  He absolutely refuses to be pulled along or led down the path.  Stubborn as a mule!

I have literally pulled his collar off trying to lead him.  You would think I was trying to lead him into quicksand.  I ALWAYS win---for when he digs his heels in, I turn around and snatch him up and carry him for a few feet until he gets the idea I am bigger and win, while rolling my eyes.   Usually (not every time) he gets the drift and goes with the flow sniffing his way down the path.  What Hero does not seem to realize is I have a plan for his walks--we change up the route everyday to give him a variety of things to sniff and see.  His current favorite path is along a busy street which has a dead possum about half a mile away---Don't nobody want to smell that!  So even though he always pulls in that direction--for a while (no vultures in the city) we will have to divert.  This is for his good and well as mine.

Reminds me a great deal of ALL of us---we don't mind walking the path God has for us--as long as we feel we have the lead--or at least are walking beside Him.  The next thing you know we are headed down some stinky path and God has to pull us back in line.  He has infinite patience--and even when we stubbornly refuse to follow his lead---He corrects us with great love.  Do you think God rolls His eyes?   I really wouldn't blame Him a bit.

"He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness 

for His name's sake." 

Psalm 23:2-3

LESSONS FROM HERO-#3

 The Wonder Dog does not realize he is a dog most of the time.  Besides his cat like behavior, he also has never met a dog he was willing to be friendly with.  Perhaps I should label him anti-social, but he is plenty social with me.  His best behavior is a begrudging tolerance of any other dog.  AND---though he might have a cat's personality, he HATES all cats with a passion.  NOW--I have never had a cat during his lifetime--where did that behavior come from?  We lived with Pickles (granddog)  for almost a year---Hero never got beyond a distant aloofness.  Pickles wanted a friend--someone to play with--Hero wanted to be left alone.  We house & dog sat a couple of weeks for friends who have an old dachshund--they both only tolerated each other.  I had to sleep in the middle of the bed with a dog on each side. (who needs an electric blanket?)

NOW, for someone who totally ignores most small dogs, Hero has never met a big dog he didn't want to attack---all 10 pounds of him.  It only took one time for me to learn how badly he could behave.  One of the neighbors dogs dared approach  him with only mild curiosity (the sniff test).  The next thing I knew Hero is under his front feet--jumping up to bite the 50-60 pound dog's neck.  The big dog just looked at Hero with amazement, surprise and disdain.  Meanwhile Hero has turned into an attacking wolf.  I have always thought he has size dysmorphia since he never walks by a big dog without straining to attack.  NOT SMART!  I am a little bit smarter than Hero---if I see a big dog approaching--we change sides of the street and I snatch his big self up.  Meanwhile he is straining to jump out of my arms and attack.  The big dogs pretty much ignore him as if he was a pesky fly buzzing around their head.

We humans might be guilty of this type of behavior.  We set our sights on something we think might be a threat, a slight, or what what we believe could be an attack  and immediately get our hackles up.  We are ready to pounce--full of spit and vinegar.  Meanwhile---the person who has so deeply offended us or we feel threatened by is going about their business --oblivious to our offense.  This is a wonderful example of---

When we become inwardly focused--and begin to believe all things are directed at us, we have set ourselves up for a rude awakening.  We spend time and energy thinking or obsessing over someone who does not even have us on their radar.  How much better off we would be if we could keep our focus on the why's--and rise above the offense we might feel.  I don't know about you, but I want to live in a drama free zone and that can only happen if I do my part in refusing to be a part of it.  This wisdom from The Word--gives you the key to keeping this peace ~

"You keep him in perfect peace

whose mind is stayed on you,

because he trusts in you."

Isaiah 26:3

LESSONS FROM HERO- #2

 Although Hero can ignore me when piqued with me---he definitely is needy to the max.  If you come for a visit, he will end up in my lap or by my side.  He reminds me of a toddler who wants all eyes upon him.  He follows me around the apartment--for fear I might sneak out the door without him and he might miss a ride or walk.  He has this hang dog--droopy tail stance when I am not interacting with him.    He literally turns and stares at the wall--and gives this little light whine--so pitiful.   Thankfully in his old age, he sleeps a great deal, but when he is awake--he wants me.  He is my "needy old man".  (When I have repeated this to others--some have said, "Aren't they all?"  NO COMMENT)--but you can laugh--no one will know.

Hero very seldom barks---as in almost never.  I believe in the years before he escaped and became a rescue--he pulled on his leash or tie trying to escape to the point of damaging his throat.  He barks once in a blue moon if someone knocks or rings the doorbell.  And then he only barks once or twice as if he temporarily forgot it was going to be painful.  SO Hero is a quiet dog---UNTIL he thinks I have gone off and left him when he hears the door slam shut.  He doesn't bark---but he begins to howl---as if he is dying.  Everyone who knows Hero is startled to hear that  wolf like howl coming from him.  Is he saying--"HEY--YOUR FORGOT ME!" or is he expressing his dismay at me being out of sight?  I have no idea--but when I walk back in the room and tell him "YOU ARE ALRIGHT"--he immediately is satisfied and hushes.  He is probably suffering from separation anxiety--and, thankfully, he is not chewing up the interior of the house as others have experienced---he is just loudly mourning my absence.  

There is a good reason Hero loves me so much.  I have anticipated his needs, and met them.  He is walked without fail--no matter the weather EVERY day three times at least.  He is not given kibble (except the small amount I sneak into his bowl by hiding it).  OH NO--he gets the good stuff---the canned wet food.  When we dog sit with Pickles (one of my grand dogs), it drives her nuts that she is not fed the same thing as Hero (she is a little overweight).  I have to feed Hero in a separate room and as soon as I open the door to let Hero out--Pickles is in there licking any leavings.  POOR PICKLES!  Hero is taken to the vet---given all his shots--faithfully given heartworm  prevention, probiotics, etc. bathed, brushed,  AND is allowed on the furniture and sleeps in my  bed by my side.  Hero has the good life---and he knows he is loved by my actions and attention.  He used to be a runner- and would take off given the chance.  He finally figured out---what a good thing he has going here and will still wander, but not far.  All I have to do is say, "Hero" and he stops and turns to me---looking at me as if he is asking--"What ?"  He wants to be by my side--and looks to me for his needs and direction.  I love my little buddy--and he knows it--and he knows I will take good care of him--based upon past experience.  He loves me without complaint, consistently, completely-because I first loved him.

I am certain you know where I am going.  Put yourself in the place of Hero and put God in the place of the Master.  He has taken good care of you--faithfully.  He has provided your needs.  He has protected you and shown you the safe path.  Do we always want to be in the presence of the one who has loved us  beyond our wildest expectations?  Do you want His touch, His presence, His voice in your life --consistently---every moment?  Do you recognize all He has done for you and do you return His love by loving Him.  Are you God's faithful companion?  Do you remember He first loved us?

"We love because He first loved us."

I John  4:19