D U C K !!!!!!!

I was once again reminded today---keep your head down low---mud is being slung---live the truth---no need to defend yourself then---AND do the next right thing.  I seem to continue to live in "Bizarre World" as I call my life---and as one of my dear sweet friends learned today--if you get to close----"Bizarre World" will spill over on you---SO SORRY!

On a positive note---today is my baby's 30th birthday.  No matter WHAT ELSE---I am SO BLESSED by the 3 wonderful children--their spouses and 5 more than perfect grandsons---SO I will sign off --remembering God loves me and has blessed me greatly!


If you know me well---if you know ANY runners---well then you know there is a serious streak of OCD that is part of the personality package we all possess.  I am NOT running at the moment---since I am training for my hiking trip---BUT I am going for walks/hikes every day.  While living and running in Ruston---we ALWAYS ran the same 5 mile routes---a different one for each of the days we ran--but ALWAYS the same route.  I moved here--and thought---HEY--it's time to make a new start and drop the old OCD habit!

I purposefully just wandered around----different neighborhoods---never with a plan---just struck off walking.  It didn't take long for me to discover a path that began at my front door---and made exactly one mile---most of the time---I would just save that for the beginning or ending of my trek.  THEN--somehow (I may have homing pigeon genes)---I discovered a route that was exactly 5 miles from my front door and back again---it involves combining a couple of areas nearby--but the first day I made the discovery---I was pretty amazed.  THEN I realized I was doing that SAME 5 mile route everyday----BACK TO OLD HABITS!

While trying to decide how I could get past my OCD tendencies----I thought about one of those shock collars you put on a dog--the dog wears it to keep them in a certain area---I could wear it to keep me from staying in the same area.  It would work something like---I get on the OCD 5 mile path---an electrical shock would be zap me back into consciousness--I would do a couple of flips---beat out my smoldering hair---and turn another way.  I think it might work----if not---I deserve the shock I get!


I worked VERY hard getting a reputation in Louisiana---you know---Dillo Hunter---etc etc.  I have begun working on my Texas reputation--after all--time is wasting!  So I guess I began the "New Me" while walking/hiking---since I have no friends to chat with while trekking---I listen to my music---I've been known to get carried away and start singing---swinging---dancing---pumping my hands in the air---just depends upon what the music is at the moment.  I do this in the MIDDLE of town---no inhibitions---just go with it!

Last night--was the night to put out the garbage--recycle cans---WHO KNEW that in TX the wind blows HARD---all night it blew hard.  Now I am NOT a very trashy person---so---my cans are NOT very heavy at all.  THUS the problem---in the VERY early AM hours---the wind blows over my recycle can---I am a VERY light sleeper--SO NATURALLY I hear the commotion.  I get up---do put on shorts with the tee shirt I am sleeping in and head downstairs to pick up the trash.  When the TCU police drove by--there I am---wind blown--crazy --barefoot --chasing the trash down the street.

This morning as I take my early morning walk---I once again am plugged in to the music on my I phone---I get a text from Camille that they have taken our little one back for his surgery (hard enough to NOT be there when they said I shouldn't come) telling me how hard it was seeing them wheeling little Collin to surgery.  I start crying reading it---SO there I am on the "Frog Trail" at TCU with lots of others---traffic whizzing by--very busy street---walking and crying.

YEP---working on the reputation----at this moment it's probably something like--the "Batty Bayou Belle"!  Somethings never change--I can run--but I can't hide from the truth!


God used Mona---He gave her a friend---that she worked with and shared an office with over 20 years ago---who then moved north from Ruston for 4 years--and then to Weatherford (suburb of Fort Worth & where Adam's parents live)---KNOWING that I would need a Godly new friend when I moved to Fort Worth all these years later.  It was an intricate---well orchestrated plan---when Mona & Anita were office mates---I didn't even know Mona---AND YET---He knew---what was ahead---He put it all together----LONG before ---for God is timeless---but at the same time---knows our time lines---and every need we will EVER have!  "I KNOW the plans I have for you!"  Jeremiah 29: 11-13---I have hope and He has my future planned!

So my new friend---grew up in Homer---lived in Ruston where we share many mutual friends--but I never knew her---moved to the frozen north and settled in Weatherford----a Louisiana girl---that became a Texan---and my new friend.  LOVE how God works!


Thank you to all the brave men and women who have so selflessly served our great country so that we might all enjoy the wonderful freedoms that came with such a high price----this post comes from here

A Fairy Tale---from long ago--


I have a box of Momma's things---a lifetime of memories condensed down to a box. One of the sweet-sweet things inside was a letter from Daddy to Momma during World War II. Lest we forget the HUGE sacrifice made by so many including Daddy so that we would be free today--I decided to share the text of the letter with you today--Memorial Day--

"Dear Louise,

Happy Birthday!!!

Despite the fact that I am planning this long in advance and anything can happen-I do so much want you to know that where ever I am or whatever I am doing I will stop and say to myself, 'Happy Birthday to you my Dearest Wife'.

It is funny the way I thought of this I sang 'You Are the One Rose' to myself all day and so came the idea-yes, indeed-you are 'The Only Rose' if I may revise the title a bit.

You know we have been separated a long time but to me we are not three years older but three years wiser. I can truthfully say we will take up exactly where we left off three years ago. To me the old proverb 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' is exactly true.

Again let me say 'Happy Birthday To My Dear Wife' and remind her that I love and miss her more and more each day.

All My Love,

I treasure this letter, but my message to you today is a reminder of the many men and women in uniform away from loved ones insuring our freedom. Thank them each and everyone.


My mother's aunt----Aunt Lora---for whom I am named--lived in Fort Worth for most of her adult life--until she left this earth--I have fond memories of childhood years spent visiting Aunt Lora and Uncle Joe.  They are precious and sweet memories---I went exploring today--looking for their home.  Not far off Camp Bowie Blvd.---as I traveled that boulevard---my senses were heightened and my heart swelled as my memories were triggered.  Memories of a sweet and innocent time in my life---before any pain- before the Fallen World began to crush down upon me.  I found their street---and found their house number--but what I remember--it is no more.  Life has moved forward and it does not look the same--the house has been changed---the yard is not as large as I remember---the streets are not as wide---but the trees--they have grown.  A beautiful old neighborhood Ridglea Hills---which borders the Ridglea Country Club---as with many older neighborhoods---some houses are restored--and some are in disrepair.  Life has moved forward.

So---what did I learn---besides that I should follow my directions that I have written down and NOT decide I might can take a short cut ---after all---what was my hurry---slightly lost ---but got back on track after surprisingly coming upon Camp Bowie---quite by accident.  There is certainly nothing wrong with our memories---God gave us a mind that can retain memories for a reason---they are a vital part of who we are---they shape who we have become---they help determine who we will be.  So there is a time for looking back--reflecting---but the important thing I must remember is to not get stuck with my head looking over my shoulder.  As I am hiking ---I occasionally look over my shoulder to check the traffic and my surroundings---but if I don't keep my eyes to the front--I will soon stumble and fall---looking at where I have been--instead of where I am going and what is up ahead.  His path is in front of me----where I have been will help me as I traverse the new path that is coming---but unless I keep my eyes forward ---I may miss what He has planned for me----the Road Filled with His Glory!

Genesis 19:26


After a busy week with the grands---I have been home---alone since mid morning---I must admit--even when home alone at night after a long day with the grands---I was too tired to think about being truly alone.  I have entered a new "Wilderness" period----the aloneness of living in a BIG city----knowing a handful of people---seeing no-one I know ever---in a store---at a fast food eatery---walking the streets--all faces are strange faces.  

I began thinking about the "whys" of being alone----alone is not all bad--but I tend to go from project to project--avoiding the penetrating--deep thoughts that come with true aloneness.  Jesus sought "aloneness"--Mark 1:35----is just one of MANY verses that tell us that Jesus sought being alone.  Time to be with God--no distractions---Me and HIM--one on one---together.  

Be quiet--Be still----listen and KNOW that He is God and He is present with me.  The current study I am working on addresses the fact that we should know Joy in the Lord---that He dwells in my heart---the Holy of Hollies in me----Now to sit---quietly and listen--He will speak to me---I just need to stop and listen.  He has me here in the wilderness for a purpose----to deepen and strengthen our relationship----I am never alone--He is here with me!  "Practice the presence of God"  Brother Lawrence

John 8:47


Before today's post--once you've got it--you must always have it---Whipper Snapper was VERY quiet last night when he came in around midnight---quietly closed his door--and no other shenanigans!  Either I've still got it or he was worn out from the week's escapades!  I'll take--I've still got it!

While walking this AM--I am getting very brave---extending further and further my walk--today I headed further east all the way to one of the major thoroughfares--maybe a little too far---don't really think the major streets are smart--BUT while making the trek---what should I come across but THIS----(click on this)

I saw this same thing while visiting #2 in Seattle--except their bikes were free--not sure how that worked out for them---BUT this idea could be genius AND there are bike paths all over the city----FUN FUN FUN!!!---Need to find a buddy interested in playing--this sounds like such fun!!!


Whipper Snapper decided to roll his garbage out at 1:00 AM----NOT quietly---and THEN he slams his front door---directly under my bedroom.  This morning when I wake up early---I notice there is another car parked in our parking spots behind the house--a BRIGHT orange cute little VW bug.   NOW something tells me--no male would be caught dead in this cute little "Girlie" car.   HUMMM!!!---Wheels are turning----

SO just as I would have done with my OWN children---I stomped around ---ran the vacuum---played some Christian music---LOUD---in general---tried to make sure THEY were awake before I left EARLY this AM to help with the Jennings crew.  NONE of my business--but Whipper Snapper's mother is not here---and I KNOW she would appreciate my help!


I was given the late afternoon off by the Jennings clan as they went to see friends for dinner.  When I came home and took out MY garbage--who should drive up but Mrs Mamie---the next door "Cat Lady".  Remember the story about Nancy meeting her?  Go to here and read the story of our introduction to the neighbor.  Mrs. Mamie's cats are NOT my favorite critters ---but I love animals and will tolerate them--BUT in my old age---I have developed an allergy to cats.  While I am talking with Mrs. Mamie--well more like listening to her monologue--one of the cats is continually rubbing up against my leg---after about 15 minutes--my skin begins to crawl---just thinking about how much my eyes are going to itch if I don't go wash all this dander off.  ANYWAY----the conversation rolls around to my landlord--Mrs. Margaret---here is the comment that Mrs. Mamie made---
"You think you know a person and then their meanness comes to the surface."

WOW--speaking of cats and cat fights---WELL no matter HOW BIG the town---there is still small town drama going on where ever you are!

Walked a new path and made new discoveries this AM with BB before heading to the Jennings.  After yesterday's power pump class--the only thing that doesn't hurt is my brain!  

I leave you with a verse that my sweet friend sent me today---Habakkuk 3:17-19


Reality has NOT sunk in yet---TOO BUSY  helping with the Three Musketeers!  Started my day with a walk---sans BB---WHY NO BB YOU ASK?----because I then went with Camille to Body Pump ----an hour of weight lifting.  THEN chasing the 3 little ones for the rest of the day.    

Last night proved interesting---Whipper Snapper---YOU DO REMEMBER HIM----decided to sit on his front porch and have a conversation with a female friend--loudly--directly below my bedroom----AT 3:00 AM!!!!  I have him trained already to take his own garbage out---NOW---for this!

One of my first official "I live in Fort Worth" actions---I joined the Y today.  You can go to any Y in the area....WONDERFUL facilities AND LOW cost---WIN    WIN!!!  A DEFINITE Perk of living in the CITY!

Also ventured a little further on my walk this morning---I have GOT to get a city map and figure it all out---was an expert at directions in little Ruston----got a LOT to learn about Fort Worth!


BUSY day chasing the boys---GOOD DAY!  I started my day with a hike with BB.  For all of you that have experienced grief--you will understand---there are times a huge wave of grief comes from nowhere and lives you reeling.  That happened as I walked this morning--perhaps it was a song I was listening to---not sure what triggered it--but found myself walking and weeping.  THEN---I got a text from a Ruston friend---she told me that she woke up thinking about me and shared some wonderful news with me---I then laughed and cried tears of joy as I watched a video of her revelation of some wonderful "family" news.  Friend---was nudged by God---she listened ---texted me just as I am sinking into cesspool of grief!  IT IS NOT Co-incidence---it is God incidence!  Be sensitive to His nudges---it is SUCH joy for Him to use You!

Spent the day with the Jennings clan--helping with the 3 Musketeers---NEVER A DULL MOMENT!


After a LESS than good night's sleep--following 3 AM shenanigans in front of my place---I have had my first full day in Fort Worth.  I plan to buy a Q beam spotlight----the next time someone is repetitively honking the horn and yelling at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night---I intend to give them a little surprise!  

I got up fairly early and took a walk with BB.  I explored another section of the beautiful downtown neighborhoods today--including University West---Colonial---and some of Tanglewood.  While walking through Colonial, I noticed LOTS of activity--there is a HUGE golf tournament starting Monday.  BEAUTIFUL neighborhood and BEAUTIFUL country club.

Before starting my hike though, I discovered one of my neighbors is the Google Earth car---hope you are my facebook friend and saw the photo.  Plan to meet this person---would LOVE to have my picture in front of various Google Earth photos.  Someone suggested having a red umbrella--my trademark---TOO FUNNY---WHO IS THAT WOMAN WITH THE RED UMBRELLA IN FRONT OF ALL THESE ADDRESSES?

Ran by to see my sweet boys tonight and tomorrow I start active duty help while Dr. Daddy is out of town.  MEANWHILE---I have been praying that God would show me how He would like to use me here.  Found out one of Camille's friends has a wall that she removed wallpaper from and it is a mess--NOT my favorite job---but God is laughing----BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PRAY FOR!


It's now official----I am a citizen of the great state of Texas----tonight though--the stars are NOT bright---it's cloudy here.  A little teary as I neared the city itself---the good thing---NO TIME for tears when you are driving in 5 lanes of traffic with a bicycle on the back of your car.  One of the many things I've learned to do for myself---securely put the bike rack on the back of the car.  I must confess---I drove slower and stopped to check the straps a couple of times---but I made it--all in one piece.

SO tomorrow--I begin my immersion into life as a Texan.  When Camille was at Baylor, she spent one summer in Spain---"Spanish Immersion"---you learn to better speak the language, but you also learn the people and the culture as you are thrown into the country with no-one by your side.  A great way to learn---do or die!

I have been sitting here reflecting upon Ruth---how must she have felt--far from home---husband dead---sister in law fleeing---and left with your mother in law----and yet---she followed the customs--learned the ways and honored her MIL by accepting her God.  Ruth obeyed Naomi and God blessed them---in a land that Ruth had never known.  Ruth accepted Naomi's land and Naomi's God as her own---she immersed herself.

Tomorrow--I begin to look for what God has for me here in Texas that will honor Him and show His glory through me.  Your land will be my land and my God is your God!


My bags are packed---I've said LOTS of Good Byes---given lots of hugs---

Final day at all my schools---hugged my "Little Reader"

Met with my sweet realtor---gave her the keys and garage door opener and instructions for the closing I will not be coming home for---said Good Bye to my sweet house that I  wish I could move to Fort Worth.

Drove by some of my favorite places---including the house I spent almost 30 years in --

My head knows--I will come back and visit---but my heart knows---it will not ever be truly the same---the life I have know for 3/4 of my life---is gone and I am leaving my home....I have to start over.

SO--The L O N G Goodbye is over----time to move down the road---time to find a new normal.    I keep thinking---"How did this happen?"---but the reality is it did and I am leaving to try to move forward. THANK YOU, RUSTON & LOUISIANA----You will always be home and I will always love you---My body may be in Texas---but my heart will always be with You!


I am living in D---Nile---and that is NOT a river!  I have asked that no one make a big deal over my leaving and they have sweetly done just that.  I've eaten so MANY Good Bye meals that I am going to be the size of an elephant if I'm not careful!  We have had a few tear showers---but thankfully NO tear storms.  Perhaps the storm will come when I am about half the way to my new home and it dawns on me that I am not coming back.  Perhaps God has numbed me--and the numbing will wear off eventually---not sure what is going on--but do know this----HE HAS ME IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND!!

So one more day---part of the day working---part celebrating reading with my 2nd grader--and then to pack up.  It all has a surreal feel to it---is this really my life?


I am NOT Brave-----scared to death

I am NOT an inspiration---just doing what God seems to keep confirming is the right thing----as late as last night I got yet another confirmation.

I am NOT selfless---have my eyes glued to my navel a LOT!

I am NOT in good shape---at the current moment---I may be in the worst shape of my life

I could go on and on--but you get the idea--my feet are made of clay and I live in the same fallen world that you do!

BUT I CAN count on God to continue to scrape me off the floor---peel me off the ceiling---dry my tears after he has counted them all---Love me BEYOND my wildest imagination.

2 days---and working part of Thursday---called back to my last consulting job while the sweet lady that took over is out for her mother's surgery.  God is trying to keep me busy---I am grateful!  Can NOT believe the LONG Good Bye is almost over!


Busy trying to see LOTS of friends and family---while looking back at old posts that explain the emotions behind this date---I found this one---but I will add this post script--during this past year God has revealed to me that a date is a man made marker to measure time--in His plan---that day is only a blip in eternity--which begins when we accept His grace---His redemption of my pain---an on-going blessing



I went to my brother Noel's lake house last night and had dinner with him, his sweet daughters (including a boyfriend), and brother Robbie & his wife Laurie---time to say Good Bye to my precious family.  It will be such a huge change to not have them a few minutes away.  I will miss them and the comfort of knowing we are all in close proximity greatly!  

As I drove to the lake with Robbie & Laurie--we made a quick stop before going to Noel's to view a HUGE Eagle's nest that has a couple of fledglings in it.  WHAT a sight!  I don't think I had ever seen an eagle's nest-certainly not that close before--just across the inlet.

Noel's lake house was just at the opening of the same inlet---so during the evening we enjoyed the sight of the eagles flying back to the nest after fishing for their supper.  WHAT a MAJESTIC and beautiful sight!  A reminder to me of the wonder of God's creation and the complex design of nature all around us.  The lone eagle--flying back to feed and tend her babies-----what a beautiful picture of God's gift of motherhood--and the joy of nurturing-loving-raising our children and then releasing them to let them fly.



The BANE OF WOMAN---SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME----SNAKES----LADIES---LADIES---MOST of them are more afraid of you than you are of them!!!---I PROMISE!!!  Helen came running in last week---"THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE YARD!!!!"  Turns out it is a harmless Garter snake---THEY EAT THE VARMINTS you do NOT want in your yard!  She informs me----I will not be going back outside again this year until the snakes are gone.  Had to peel her off the ceiling---talk and talk--she seems to forget---UNTIL--the next day when the same snake is back--the fact that I am certain he is after the moles that have invaded her yard has gone in one ear and out the other.  She wanted me to kill it--I refused.  NOW as you all know--HAD IT BEEN A DILLO!--or a poisonous snake---would not hesitate to get the hoe.  I was raised with two brothers--IF I had shown any fear of a snake---I would have had one in my bed that very night!  

Put BB on my back and hiked 6 miles on the hills of the service roads today---did NOT see any snakes--BUT had an interesting occurrence.  As I was walking up Reynolds Drive--I saw a truck which looked like it was parked in a peculiar place and this guy came around the back of it--with a cell phone in his ear.  As I got closer, he stopped me and said, "Ma'am do you have a cell phone I could use?"  Thought I just saw him with a cell phone--but being the wonderful person that I am---I let him use my cell phone.  As he calls someone I start looking around and he has taken out numerous plants and trees are up-rooted and in the middle of the road---the truck is wedged in a position that I don't know HOW they could pry out.  He is telling someone on the other end of the phone--"Come get me NOW---before the cops get here--I've totaled my truck!!!"  He hands my phone back---and starts yelling the most offensive word I know---I start trekking up the road and a few yards away--call the police---"They turned the corner as I topped the hill"  His BIG mistake---the obvious fact that he had not recovered from last night's party---he HAD to have been going really fast to do the damage he did AND what if I had not stopped and gotten water---I could have been directly in his path with 25 #s on my back and unable to run---AND the big ugly word he was screaming.  I did pray after my call that God would use this incident as a wake up call for him.  THE THRILLS OF TREKKING!!


If you see me---hug me---love me---PLEASE do not discuss my leaving---more tears--more sorrow about leaving my dear friends and family in the town I have grown to love over the past 47 years than I care to share----THE LONG GOODBYE----is heart breaking---Not sure if I have much left of my heart--it's shattered into pieces.  

So relieved to know that God knows my every tear and dwells in my heart--no matter what condition it is in.  


I had a call today from my sweet friends at CSE that the "Principal" wanted to see me.  As I drove over, I began thinking about the last time I was summoned to the Principal's office---it was a LONG time ago!  I was junior high age---and quite the clown---I KNOW you are all shocked by that revelation--but it is true---quiet -somber-demur as I am today--there was a day---OH WELL

I was in a social studies class if my mind is working correctly and sitting in the back of the room (YES JUST LIKE I SIT AT THE BACK OF CHURCH NOW).  Being the BIG tomboy that I was---I had found a chameleon lizard and brought him into class.  I was sitting twirling him by his tail as the teacher wrote on the black board (YES TEACHERS ACTUALLY WROTE ON THE BLACKBOARD IN THE OLD DAYS).  All of a sudden his tail snapped off---STOP RIGHT THERE ALL YOU PETA LOVERS---THEY GROW BACK---the entire class cracked up---SCORE---AND I got to go explain it all to the principal--who was NOT a very jovial/joke loving person!  DO NOT TELL MY GRANDS---they make think this gives them license to twirl lizards.

Today's trip to see the principal was on a much better note----Mrs. Lewis and Mrs. Sims called and asked me there to give me a wonderful gift card and thank me for volunteering and co-ordinating the volunteers for CSE for these past few years.  I was humbled and thankful and reminded them  

I Count it ALL as Joy!


I just LOVE how God can throw in a zinger occasionally-----JUST when I need a good laugh!  I went to the attorney's office this afternoon---somber business--ending a 40 year marriage.  The bright side of my visit was a hug and great visit with a sweet Episcopalian friend that works there.  I would have NEVER met her---had it not been for going back to work after being left alone 2 years ago.  What a sweet gift and blessing our business association and then friendship has been.

I get the business taken care of and go to tutor at one of the Elementary schools---so that keeps me busy for a while.  I come to Helen's and the house is empty and the ominous papers are in my hand.  Could have been a very bad moment as I read over them.  THEN---in steps God----with a moment of levity and laughter.  The following is the text that I received and my response:

Friend from Attorney's Office--"Did you leave your sunglasses here?"  (I have 2 pair just alike since I have been known to leave glasses places)

Me---"Are they white sport glasses?"

Friend--"No they are black and say 'Joy Ride'"


Me--"No 'Joy Rides' lately---UNFORTUNATELY---must be some other lucky person's!!"

SO next time you see me--expect Black "Joy Rides"----I CAN live vicariously!


Yesterday's post concerned the relationships in my life---including my conclusion that all the dysfunctional-painful relationships in my life involved men.  I asked for comments--didn't have many--but I did have a call yesterday that gave me great hope.  My life-long friend, Barbara--called and talked over what I had posted.  She reminded me that I had a painful-dysfunctional-disappointing relationship with my mother.  LOVE HER!!--don't get me wrong---BUT   due to circumstances in her own life, her maternal - nurturing traits were sometimes marginal.  She was ill for a few months before she died.  Her illness was painful---and very difficult time of nursing-and care taking.  I begged God for mercy for her---and did not understand why she had to be here --in the pitiful state that she was.  After she left us---He revealed to me that this time was a time for me to forgive her and I did.  I put behind the past--forgave her and moved on.  When Barbara reminded me of that--I told her that I did not even remember that when confronted by another friend about any woman that had ever disappointed me or caused me pain.  Total Redemption ---forgiveness and forgetting. 

I am greatly encouraged and reminded of God's redeeming love for us all and how if we seek His Face and will for our lives--that redemption will come to life in our own lives.  The path a Christian begins when receiving Christ as their Savior is the road to being a reflection of Christ.  We will reflect His redeeming love and grace.  I have great hope--that the forgiveness I have extended will eventually also lead to forgetting the pain.
God's amazing grace---apparent by His redemption of His Beloved.  Hope for tomorrow!


I have a friend that told me that I reveal way too much on my blog---I've thought about that a great deal---think that is the purpose of my blog---writing enables me to process--is a terrific aid in working through my thoughts.  I guess if you don't like what I am writing about---you should close this window and move on--I am NOT offended-in fact--I DO NOT EVEN KNOW!!!

SO I've been talking to some friends about a recent revelation I've had---almost ALL the pain in my life has come because of a relationship with a man.  When one of them asked if I had any women that had disappointed me---I could not at the moment think of a one--especially among my friends.  They validate me---listen to me---encourage me---in general love me well.  I have never felt rejection---or that I came up "short" in any of my female friend relationships.  I can't think of a single female that has "walked out" on our relationship-----know that they cherish our friendship---and are genuinely concerned about me.

Contrast that with my relationships with men---outside of my sweet brothers and sons---almost without fail---all of the really important male relationships I have had --lead to disappointment--rejection---feeling inadequate and even abandonment.  This is MUCH deeper than I will reveal here (I do hold back on some things)--suffice it to say---I have been permanently scarred and forever changed---left in the wake of pain and inadequacy.

SO---I have been thinking---are my choices wrong---is there something wrong with me--what has been going on here?  Perhaps--it is best --I just stick with female relationships. Interested in what you have to say or contribute---on-line or in my ear---love to hear your thoughts!



If you know me well--if you've EVER had one of my calls---or be cornered by me---you KNOW I have my persuasive methods when it comes to coherision-----NOT above ANY methods available to me including this AM---

Text Body-----___________ GET UP and get dressed-you need to come to church---and have lunch with us after---I will ONLY be here ONE more Sunday after today---time is running out!

SCORE!!!!!--Worked they showed up and we had lunch!

I just got groans Friday night as we painted when I mentioned some yard work that needs doing for a friend----NOT finished with that "Guilt Trip" yet---

SO--I am NOT above playing the "Guilt Card"---YOU ARE ALL GOING TO MISS ME---who's going to be around to tug at your strings when I am gone????


I went to lunch with a couple of friends today.  LONG story---we decided that we would go bless someone in a section of town that is on the low end of the economic scale.  I have a friend that is courageous in sharing as God directs her and it is fun to participate with her blessing others.  So we drove around the area until she spotted the person to bless and then stopped very briefly for the blessing shower.

It hit me about 15 minutes later as we drove around what we must have looked like----3 women--obviously out of the area that we live in---slowly driving up and down the street waiting for God's direction.  I started laughing---finally got out what I was laughing about---they started giggling--it went from there to hysterics as we voiced what we must have looked like and the comments that must have been made as we passed by.

Blessing someone else----laughing until we hurt----DOUBLE BLESSING!!!


We finished painting a friend's home tonight.  For some reason---I can't stay out of the paint ---from the top of my head (hair) to the bottom of my feet---(tracking)--just can NOT keep out of the paint!

Trying to see as many friends as possible before I leave.  Well except for those that have chosen to de-friend me.  Rejection and abandonment are well known to me!  For those that still are my friends---would like to at least get a good bye hug before I am gone---LOOK ME UP--OR call me and I will come paint your house or rake your yard!


Today was my last day to volunteer at Cypress Springs Elementary---I have loved helping this wonderful staff in many ways over the past few years.  They were the first school I began my initial volunteering adventure in---It has been a wonderful relationship that I will always cherish.  These people LOVE our children and work to enrich their lives and prepare them for the future--They recognize our most valuable resource--the key to our future--is in these little people.  I have loved getting to know MANY of the staff--and will miss them tremendously next year.  I will have a huge hole in my life next year when school starts.  Even when there was no big deal made over it---it was still difficult to say "Good Bye".  

And so it begins  "The Good Byes"


MUST get used to walking EVERY day with BB on my back-----Got up this AM--started walking a hilly route downtown ----before going to serve the wonderful teachers lunch--KNEW rain was on the way---but thought PERHAPS I will finish before it starts.

DID NOT HAPPEN-----SO if you saw me---Yes that was me---AND  YES---I knew it was raining and YES I AM CRAZY!!!!